Home of the Gnome

Sony/PSN get's hacked and they dont owe you shit: The Movie!

2011-05-01T22:48:00.007-04:00

I’m sure at this point anyone reading this, your well aware of what is going on with Sony and the psn being hacked, credit card information stolen and psn down for almost 2 weeks. So Ill gloss over the details and get right to the point. Oh and for all the people complaining, blaming Sony and so on, this is for you.

Sony got hacked; they didn’t do anything intentionally or directly to their customers. Could they have been better prepared? Probably. But hindsight is 20/20. The saying "shit happens" is a motto we all live by and we all eat from the same shit sandwich on occasion. Sometimes its little bites, sometimes it big bites and this is a big bite for Sony and about 77 million nibbles for the rest of us.

It’s always easy to point fingers and make accusations when it’s not you, it’s even easier at a big faceless business. Why? Because people are jealous, they are jealous of the money and power they hold. It’s a deep down thing but its true. Because if you were a chairman of a multibillion dollar company and this happened, you wouldn’t give a shit as long as it wasn’t your company. They want to say they are and feel like the victim of these companies because it’s easier to be their victim when you’re not their equal. If you can’t beat em, log on the net and act like a immature jackass.

What kills me are these people who say Sony is bad, Sony did this, Sony did that, people want to hold Sony responsible and so on when they are the real victims here. Yeah a bunch of people had their encrypted credit card numbers stolen with no ccv codes, Sony is the one who really got hurt in all of this and yet everyone wants to blame them. That’s as stupid as blaming the bank that got broken into and money stolen from, instead of knowing the bad guys are the ones who stole the shit and then everyone would want to blame the bank.

And for anyone blaming Sony your probably the same asshole that rooted for geofuckz hacking the ps3 thinking he was some modern day robin hood or some such shit. You’re fucking idiots. Did geofartz do this personally? No he is just a bratty kid that cracked security and fancies himself as the people’s hero. But he started this ball rolling without a doubt. And why did he do this? Because he feels he was entitled to having other os on his ps3 Sony removed. Why did they remove it? Because too many hackers were taking advantage of it and doing shit they shouldn’t be doing. So he busts the security wide open for other hackers to cause some real damage. As a 30+ year gamer and personal owner of over 20 systems there is no conceivable reason why the ps3 needs to be hacked, unless you want to do shit you’re not supposed to.

And for the people who say Sony (in a modern hippie tone) that Sony is a big evil corporation and such, if it wasn’t for the big corporations you wouldn’t have things like a ps3, a droid phone, the internet, airplanes, overseas shipping, computer processors, hdtvs and all these other lovely things we all love. If it wasn’t for big corporations who the fuck is going to bankroll 100 million in R&D and then make the shit? Some mom and pop shop on a street corner going to make your intel i7 cpu with 700million plus transistors inside each one in the shed out back? You need to grow the hell up and realize how the real world works.

Then we have people blaming sony because they got hacked, claiming they were the cause of it due to bad security and so on. Now hbgary, a major cyber security and forensic company got hacked, so if they can get hacked how exactly is sony so terrible? What do you think their entire network is just a router bought from bestbuy with no security setup on it? Or how about when the same group hacked mastercards site, or paypals or one of the other foriegn countries? How come the same group can hack them but you still manage to say sony is bad for getting hacked and they had weak security?

If people are going to get this pissed off and upset this then they just need to quit the game of life now, because life is way harder than this. Sometimes you have to say "Fuck it" and go on, this ladies and germs is one of those times. It happened, it’s over, it’s done and it will happen again so just let it go and move on because you can’t do a damn thing about it.

Yet another reason to hate Gamestop.

2011-02-18T17:33:00.005-05:00

Well I found a new reason to hate gamestop.

I was in gamestop few days ago while my car was at the dealer getting the ecm replaced from a manufacturer recall. While I was waiting I walked across the street to a gamestop (after swearing them off years ago I thought Id pop in to see if things had changed) and the girl there wasnt exactly very nice, a little snotty to be honest but I brushed her off best I could since I was starved for entertainment and I bought some cheap gamecube games, psp game and few other things. When I get home I open it up to find......

Yup, roaches, multiple ones. This game had 3 of them inside it and they laid eggs and stained the inside of the manual. The thing is you couldnt have missed them when you put the used game in it, I certainly didnt when I opened it and legs started falling out on my desk. Both gamecube games had roaches in it and the psp game I had picked up also had a roach head inside the umd case stuck in the back in plain view. Its not like they were behind the games artwork or something where you couldnt see and its not like they were tiny or even just one.

So I called gamestop and told the girl answering the phone and her reply was "Well the games work dont they?" and after a long pause gave me that big sigh and said if I have to return them I can in that kind of smarmy snide attitude. I called their customer service both on employee attitude and roachs and they said "Well that shouldnt be, but we will certainly pass your comments a long to the district manager of that store, can I help you with anything else?" and I hung up. After such shitty all around customer service and roachs I finally lost all faith in them.

I honestly cant decide what is worse. The roaches I found in the games knowing she didnt say anything but ignoring them and letting me deal with it, the sales clerks shitty attitude with me from the minute I walked up to the counter or the pitiful excuse for customer service I got when I called the 800 number. I was grossed out, put off and pissed off by them all in one day.

UPDATE:

Well it’s been a few months and they still made no real sincere attempt at trying to reconcile with me over their horrible customer service. I finally got enough attention from my story other websites posted it and finally I get a phone call out of state from a self titled big shot at lamestop. In short he offered to refund me the cost of the games after telling me he prided himself on never having a issue he couldn’t resolve with a customer.

He just couldn’t understand after all the months of being ignored by phone, email and in store visits, the total lack of interest in my problem and complete disregard for me as a customer (not to mention my previous years of complaints I have with their company) why I was unhappy after he offered me a refund. He even made some insincere attempt and offering me a 10 dollar gift card without actually offering it and was shocked when I declined his pitiful offer and said I will never shop there again. So that goes to show the company is run by guys who can’t relate to their customers, because he couldn’t understand that 10 dollars isn’t enough to buy me off and make me suddenly happy with a pitiful excuse for a company. He even went as far as to try be buddies with me and somehow got on the topic of reasons why bestbuy sucks.

Gamestop has forever lost my business. And honestly, in the years I stopped shopping there I have saved a lot of money buying with other places. I liked the idea of a dedicated game store I could frequent often and give my business to. But I have my limits on shit I will tolerate and with lamestop, I’m in over my head of wet sloppy shit Ill put up with.

Beyond the black rainbow teaser.

2010-11-20T22:08:00.008-05:00

Granted Id never heard of this Pantos Cosmatos before but I was instantly hooked on this teaser. It has a look and sound I havent seen since John Carpenters earlier films. It has his sense of style to a lot of the shots and the music reminds me of something he would do a little bit. But everything from the angles, the camera movements, the color filters and the awesome music had me hooked and excited to see more.

Anyone who knows me knows I cut my teeth on 1980's horror and scifi stuff and this in a few ways gave me the same feeling I used to get as a kid watching movies of that era.

EA removing the taliban name from medal of honor multiplayer.

2010-10-02T19:34:00.003-04:00

As a former army ranger from back in the day of desert storm I say this is bullshit. Its bullshit what EA did and its bullshit what citizens did.

EA has no conviction, no backbone and cracked for fear of hurting sales.

The american people who complained so much about this are even worse because they decided they love americas freedom so much they would bitch until they took something away from someone else. Kind of counter active to the whole freedom thing. But then again most americans love their freedom when it comes to them getting what they want, but soon as they dont like something then they dont think you should have it.

Yes I know, this really isnt a big deal. Its just a title in a video game. But it is a big deal because its the fact something was changed because people didnt like it, and that folks is wrong. If EA wanted the taliban in there then they should have been allowed to without reprisal. If people didnt like it then in a perfect world they would have said "Well I dont agree. But its just a video game. I dont like it so I wont buy the game but anyone else should be free to decide if they want to play it or not" But sadly that isnt the real world, the real world is full of fucking morons who want to hate, bitch, complain and try to take apart anything they dont agree with and dont give a shit what the other person thinks instead of just accepting it and moving.

Lets face facts. Americans like the people who complained are fucking idiots. They are the definition of bad americans because they are pro america, pro military, pro everything red, white and blue to the point where they cant think for themselves and kneejerk defend anything considered offensive to this country.

They dont give a shit that they think its ok in the game for people to play americans killing taliban, but they think its wrong to play as taliban killing americans. That logic makes no sense to me. How come they dont bitch about you being able to play as a nazi or a japanese guy from a WW2 game online? Being a nazi is fine, but being taliban is just evil and wrong and disrespectful to the men and women of this country great and glorious god fearing righteous and most wonderful nation in this entire universe!......bullshit. And most of all, its just a video game. If you dont like it then dont buy it.

So you should be able to play as the taliban. You can play as a nazi in other games. Either its all ok or none of its ok.

So fuck you, you closed minded dipshits that wanted it removed from the game. You need to grow up and learn to accept you wont things in this life and if your bitching about a video game so much then you need to learn to do something constructive with your time. Freedom is not telling others that they shouldnt be playing as someone in a video game, thats the opposite of freedom.

And fuck you EA for not having the balls to stand by your conviction. I would have had more respect if they stood up in the middle of all this controversy and said "Look folks. We know your upset but this is just a video game, and its our video game. Were going to make the game we want to make. We dont expect you to agree with us but atleast realize we have as much right to make this game as you do to not like it. We will sell it and if you dont want to play it for the content then thats fine. We wont tell you your wrong for not buying it if you wont tell us were wrong for making it because thats what america is. The ability to make choices. We chose to make this game and you can chose not to play it".

And fuck the families of the fallen who bitched and complained. Your honoring the memory of your dead soldier by trying to take away a right to free speech and censoring something while that solider was supposedly "fighting for freedom"? Your a disgrace to that soldier. Besides, what about the families of people in the taliban? How come they dont have a say? Arent they in the same boat by losing a family memember to some conflict they werent even personally involved in? Oh thats right, no one cares what they think because no one gives a shit about them because they are brown people from another country that doesnt agree with us.

So basically we all lose because we let the complainers win. We lose because a company compromised themselves in the face of those complainers and thus set back the ability for game developers to try riskier content and do what they want in the future. No one wins here.

Either its all ok or none of its ok

Well exxcccuuuussseee me princess!

2009-12-18T23:02:00.004-05:00

Well it seems Hulu has a dedicated page to the laughably bad (but still with charm) cartoon series of The Legend Of Zelda from back in the day should you fancy cringing at the god awfull dialouge and situations.

http://www.hulu.com/the-legend-of-zelda

Of course being the fucking NES nerd I am I bought the series on dvd awhile back and watched them once. Its not a bad show but its definitely a product of its time as anyone who is old enough to watch this show on network tv will tell you.

So here is your chance to laugh at shit you probablly though was cool in your younger days or your chance to laugh at the shit your older brother used to watch, for free I might add. But despite its quality I will firmly defend this show as being a hell of better in terms of entertainment and quality than any bullfuck I see on tv now a days that passes for a cartoon.

Better enjoy it while you can, I dont know how long they will keep up this page and my understanding is Hulu has gotten popular enough now I guess cause its considering going to a subscription base in 2010. Course thats just rumor as of now but I can see them doing it and then me immediately deleting the hyper link to their site in my favorites list.

Can you name them all? The Simpsons 20th anniversary collage

2009-12-17T22:34:00.003-05:00

Yeah, thats alot of fucking Simpsons in one shot.

Hard to believe the show has been on 20 years, which is about right since I was like 14 years old when the show first came and I actually liked Tracy Uldman show, course I hated the show when they had these unfunny animated characters on there call the simpsons, I just want it to go back to the sketch comedy stylings of Mrs Uldman. Even when they got their own show some years later I wasnt impressed, sure it was funny but the first season or so wasnt that funny. It took till about the 3rd season before I started video taping each episode on 6 hour mode, pausing to cut out the commercials and would later watch one of my many simpsons marathons on tape.

And if your a Bart fan then fuck you, Moe is where its at. He is and always has been my favorite of the bunch. Of course Ralph, Marge, Mr Smithers, Lenny, Carl, Mr Burns and Jasper were tops in my book also.

Well the show has definitely declined over the years but still remains better than most shit on tv anymore and the simpsons movie was fucking awful, basically a long episode with marge saying "god damn" in it. When your having troubles making a 23 minute episode funny, making a movie over a hour long isnt to good of a idea. But I digress, started off slow and slowly dying it had alot of good years in between.

Heres to ya Simpsons and friends.

Left 4 Dead 2 out today!

2009-11-17T12:55:00.003-05:00

If you love zombies and video games you no doubt are rubbing yourself through your pants pocket like I am over the fact Left 4 Dead 2 has come out today.

If your so inclined to want to play a match with me youll find me on Steam as "Gargux". Yeah some asshole took gargus already on there the twat.

Anyway I must finish remodeling the bathroom today so I can finally be done with it so you wont catch me on L4D2 till later tongiht or maybe tomorow but the whole Ill be praying that the game can feel as cool, fresh and fun as the first one did when I originally got it.

If you havent played the original L4D its basically this. There is no story, and no real ending. Its more of a Battlefield 2 kind of game where you join some people to play a campaign out till its done and then do it again or play a new map. Your basically a survivor dropped into a map after a zombie breakout and required to make it to your destination to escape with 3 other players all the while fighting off zombies and desperately trying to make it to the part way point (or safehouse) for a much needed medkit and supplies. On the outside it sounds very simple and just another game but its the originals sheer polish and attention to detail that made it so much fun.

Its also fun in that you actually have to work together, you cant run off on your own or youll get your nipples bitten off in a few seconds and then endanger the rest by them being one person short. Co-op is required to get through the harder difficulties. You can play offline with NPC's but thats not much fun. Its more fun to kill, fight along side, save, and die with real people.

There is also the flipside where you can play against humans and get to be the infected. So instead of getting your ghoulies chewed off by the undead its now your chance to do it to others. Not as much fun to me but still interesting. Then you have the match types where your basically blocked in a area you cant escape from and ever increasing numbers of infected are pouring in and your given enough ammo and medkits to destroy a small country, but bascially you cant win these matches, the point is to last as long as you can time and beat your own score.

If you do choose to get this though dont be one of those immature fucks that thinks its funny to act like a horses ass and shoot your team mates and exit the game. There arent alot of those fucks but there are some. Never understood why you would pay for a game and then not play it at all but instead try and act like a fuckhead just to ruin it for people who actually want to play.

So add me to your friends list and we will kill some undead fucks together. Cant wait to give em a taste of my baseball bat pre-order weapon.

Demons Souls Deluxe Edition swag review

2009-11-16T22:34:00.002-05:00

Well as with my past swag reviews this isnt about the game but rather the special edition Shit. We. All. Get of a game I got.

Well I was curious about this game but honestly forgot about it before launch so when I finally remembered the Deluxe Editions were officially gone and going for 90 bucks on ebay. Just so happened I lucked out and saw one in a Walmart of all places on the bottom shelf behind some other shit so I snatched one right up. Thats one thing I had about glass cases if not everything can be displayed easily visable and half the shit is under or behind something else and if you want to check you have to go find some fucking guy who doesnt want to be bothered with opening a case for nothing and having to stand there with you the whole time.

So I am sitting here opening this baby up and listening to "I started a joke" by the Beegee's over and over again for some reason. And here is what I found. An artbook with a soundtrack cd with 24 tracks on it on the back page of the artbook, a double wide slipcase for the game and extra, a strategy guide with almost 200 pages, and the game itself.

I was personally little dissapointed intially but the artbook isnt to bad (but nothing special), the strategy guide is actually quite detailed and filled with alot of information. I mean usually included strat guides that come with a game are like 13 pages and just a bunch of shit you can learn by reading the manual, but this one is actually chock full of shit and over 100 pages. The slipcase looks nice and isnt to flimsy really. Soundtrack cd I sampled a tiny bit and sounded pretty nice, but I think without the game to go with it you lose some of its luster.

If your sporting a big hardon for this game then chances are youll dig the deluxe edition, but if your one of those who hates special edition shit you wont get your mind changed here any because its all pretty just standard SE bullshit, but its atleast nice bullshit for a terrific game.

Deluxe or not though this is still a game worth buying. Its hard as fuckall but its really good and has a really unique online compenent to it. Plus I busted a boner in my pants since this game is kind of a spiritual successor to Kings Field (the same studio that created Kings Field did Demons souls).

My 2 cents game review: Fallout 3 game of the year edition.

2009-11-06T13:24:00.006-05:00

Well here we are again with another game review.

Ill start with this statement, This game is so fucking buggy I want to throw my controller into the tv.

Lets reflect back on my Fallout 3 experince for a sec. I pre-ordered the collectors edition on my pc last year because I wanted the lunchbox and figure and I was excited to get this thing home and install it. What I found was a broken fucking game I couldnt play for 3 hours without multiple lock ups and corruption of my saves. Out of anger I uninstalled it and put it away, it took 5 months before bethesda patched the game to a playable state. 5 months I couldnt play my 70 dollar game. Once it was patched I was over joyed to play the game and was really into it.

After some time I noticed it was just Oblivion reskinned though and using the same engine. Rocks looked the same upon close inspection, npc's had the same stiff animations, lock picking was basically the same, items broke, vast expansive areas that looked all the same and so on. It even would lock up every 5 minutes if I had x-fire on the in the background like Oblivion did. But despite its faults I did enjoy the game itself. It had some interesting characters, I could listen to Malcom Mcdowell narrate the same lines over and over again for hours, the quests were interesting, despite my disbelief VATS never got old and it was just good fun.

Out of spite for Bethesda's poor patching, customer service and the fact they were pimping DLC before the game even came out I never got any of the 5 DLC packs for it. So I grabbed recently the Game of the Year Edition off ebay used and was thrust back into the Capital Wasteland with all 5 DLC included in it.

Mothership Zeta is repetitive and really boring, by the time I finished I was just rushing to get it over with.

Operation Anchorage wasnt to bad and told some backstory to the game, I really wish they had taken more advantage of this though but all in all it wasnt bad and had a nice change of scenery. Buggy as fuck later on and has a game breaking bug in it I ran across.

Point Lookout has a kind of horror vibe to it and is very interesting. To bad slow downs ruined the flow. But this is my favorite of the 5 DLC.

The Pitt wasnt to bad. I was little bored with it since it felt so removed from the rest of the game and was very short as I beat it in one sitting. It felt more like a after thought and had no real depth at all. Was also buggy with alot of slowdowns and couple lock ups.

Broken steel. This mother wont let me finish it by locking up with slowdown everytime I get close to my destination, from what I can tell its not that interesting and feels like they are just trying to drag out the games core story longer than they should have with just some filler.

Well the main game was fairly playable with some slow downs and 60 second lock ups here and there, I was annoyed but not to annoyed. But soon as I hit my first DLC, Operation Anchorage I was greeted with constant slow downs, dozens of system lock up and one bug where I was lucky I for some reason backed up my save just before the end because the very last guy was bugged and wouldnt move to start conversation where I was locked into place. Had I not backed up my save the game would have been over right there because I was perpetually stuck in a spot upon loading, faced with a NPC that wouldnt do anything and would have had to start allover. Everyother expansion also suffers multiple lock up and freezes with constant 90 second moments of the game literally going to 1 frame per 10 seconds. I have given up on the last one Broken Steele as everytime I approach my destination the frame rate drops to fucking negative 100 and eventually locks up, has done this 4 times to me and each time I have to start allover again and cant save mid way because there is constantly an enemy nearby. Its not just me either, I see dozens of people everyday on the fallout 3 forums with the same problems.

In the end this is a fun game but because Bethesda doesnt fucking test anything, has worse customer service than Burger King, has no idea how to code a fucking game engine properly or listen to their customer base and fix problems this game is a steaming turd on the sidewalk of gaming's highway. Last time I saw a game this full of problems was Ultima 9. The real problem is none of these not unknown problems people have been complaining about for along time. Of course everytime Bethesda makes a game its full of bugs and unplayable, then they fix it just enough to be playable and then pretend like nothing is wrong at all. I guess their philosphy is "Unless our game is completely broken we dont care, but if its totally broken we will fix the problem soon as were done tossing eachother off over the awards we got for our poorly tested, badly coded game."

I would say more about the game but given this is just a compilation of a game released last year and its 5 expansions Im sure you already have a firm grasp of what the game is and whether or not you like it.

Bottom line is if you want this game bad enough then buy it used cheap or wait and get it off ebay next year after christmas when everyone unloads it. But I can not in good faith reccomend this game at 60 dollars, its 30 or less at best. Save your money on this and buy something else instead.

I bet the next game Bethesda puts out will just say on the screen "fuck you" and then immediately crash the system when you push start.

Id give it 8 out of 10 stars if it fucking worked but since it doesnt Im giving it a 2 out of 10.

Stay tuned for alot more game reviews coming soon. I broke my fucking wallet recently with the landslide of games coming out so I should be set for quite sometime. Now comes the chore of chosing which to play next. Uncharted 2, brutal legend, demons souls, infamous, ratchet and clank a crack in time, cryostasis and on the 17th Ill be picking up god of war collection and left 4 dead 2. And fuck me I still want persona on psp.

My 2 cents movie review: Zombieland

2009-11-04T21:53:00.006-05:00

Allright! Now I was excited to see this and it was tough waiting. See unless its something big I wait for ticket sales on a movie or its place on top 10 ticket sales to reach certain points before I go to see a movie, then I go on a weekday night at the like 11:30 showing because I cant fucking stand loud mouthed kids or adults for that matter in movies. I dont pay 9 bucks to listen to them fucking talk god damnit! Its rude, its inconsiderate and its really fucking annoying! And yes you may think your being quiet, but I can still fucking hear you! And turn off your god damn cell phone! Yeah you hold it down to text during the whole movie but every person behind you see's that fucking light, even all the way in the back!

Anyway, as I was saying I finally got to see zombieland. Its director Ruben Fleischer who up till now hasnt done anything aside from The Girls Guitar Club and pointed a camera on Jimmy Kimmel Live, so yeah. It stars Woody Harrelson and some other folks also. I was peppy and excited for this as it looked like it was going to be a really fun movie to see with humor and zombies. And anyone who knows me I love me some zombies, I always have since I saw Return of the Living Dead as a youngster. Was it fun? Did I laugh? Was I atleast entertained? All answers will be revealed, all questions will be addressed!

Direction: The whole movie from a directorial standpoint was rather slap-dash and pretty much what I expected which was nothing special. It wasnt terrible by any means but a beetle could have been directing this and no one would have noticed. It wasnt awful like some made for sci-fi (I refuse to use their new name which is pretentiously stupid) channel, but then again it didnt have a personality all its own like say The Shining. It felt like the director just shot the movie strictly from script ideas and storyboards. As if he understood how to use a camera, lighting, posistioning and all that jazz but only from like a first year film student points of view where he only knew from a textbook. Also stopping to make an obvious gag in the movie so they could put bolded letters on the screen displaying "one of the survival rules" was done about twice as many times as it took to start being annoying.

Acting: Well when you have a movie title "Zombieland" your obviously going to get a certain grade of acting quality and when your best actor in the film is Woody Harrelson then obviously your bar is only going to go so high. I only have a resounding "Meh" when I try to verbalize my feelings on the acting in this. I never could get into any of the characters either, even Woody's which was perfect for him felt like he was being forced to play the part and not like he really wanted to. My biggest gripe was the other major character in the film, Columbous. I think they were originally like "We need a hip character for the kids like the one from Superbad and Juno. But we cant afford that kid so we will find another one like him and tell him to act exactly like him and sound exactly like him" and thats what they did basically. So basically no one in here could act their way out of a nutsack and even the unexpected big name star showing up made me roll my eyes in disinterest and I couldnt wait for their part to be over so we could get the show on the road.

Storyline: Not much to say here. When you go to see something called "Zombieland" your not exactly there to get your story on. Really this is one of those 3 in the morning decisions on the story. Basically the movies title tells you the entire story right there. It all feels very undeveloped, cheap and just a quick excuse to try and do a zombie comedy and nothing else. Granted I wasnt expecting to be seeing the cinema equivilant of The Divine Comedy here but some effort put into the story would have been interesting. It was like the story was a loaf of bread with both end cut off and all you have is the good part in the middle but you feel somewhat bewildered because you didnt get to see the start or the end. And thats how I felt, like they just took some random people from the zombie apocalypse and filmed it for 90 minutes and then got back in the van and left.

Effects: The effects were boring and tedious. The sound effects and music had no personality or charm, just random stuff pulled from stock libraries. It all just sounded very generic and uninteresting to me with no attention to detail. Visually I wasnt to impressed, there really wasnt much CG effects in the movie (which is always a bonus for me) but when they were there, they were pretty obvious and not very well done as they made the movie feel very artificial and thus not interesting as it detracted from the experince. I mean visually the movie wasnt awful but it was very ho-humly approached in every aspect, there was no care put into the movie visually speaking.

Overall: I was quite let down in virtually every department. Was it bad? No it wasnt bad but it certainly wasnt good either. This is one of those movies you rent and watch one time and then never really pay attention to it again after that, maybe you watch it once when your bored on a movie channel when it hits cable in a year, at best. Its just a dissapointment because the trailers make this look like it would be alot of fun to go see and fill that little black in my void in my soul that lusts for a good zombie flick. I can not reccomend this as a movie going experince though, it isnt worth the 9 dollar admission, I can not even imagine any dvd version will be worth buying.

I give it 4 out of 10 stars.

Trailer: http://www.apple.com/trailers/sony_pictures/zombieland/

I pose a question.

2009-11-04T21:48:00.005-05:00

Well two questions really.

1- If you have sex with a clone of yourself is it masturbation or incest?

2- If you are dating a identical twin where one can sense what the other is doing and have sex with one while the other can feel it is that rape?

You know whats a shitload of fuck? Religion (christianity in paticular)

2009-10-22T12:06:00.010-04:00

Personally Im of the mind that if religion and faith in it make someone happy then by all means, have at it. Im not going to personally dump on someones faith, because its their own choice and that makes freedom of the mind so great is you like or dislike what you chose. I would never single anyone out and Ive known quite a few people who were christian of varying degrees and I never said a word about it because their business. Only time I dont like it is when its forced on me or shoe horned into a conversation. So this isnt about a certain person or individual, its just a blanket rant over religion as a whole.

I guess the simplest format for this is to just go through a small list of major points or topics Id like to discuss because Im going to do alot of bouncing around and in the end it will sound convoluted trying to read it as if it had some sort of flow. So with that out of the way lets just dive right in.

Well to approach a topic such as this we have look back at humanitys past and see how its behaved. Basically humans as individuals are smart but as humanity as a whole they are very stupid, scared, superstitious, self centered, pretentious and mindless cattle needing to be led. All those things birthed religion.

1- I wont go back to far, but Im sure were all familliar with the fact that thousands of years ago we were afraid of everything because we believed a god or demon lived just over a hillside or in a cave. But a thousand years ago we believed that illness was due to posession, or that we had tiny frogs living in our stomachs. Just a couple hundred years ago good, honest, faithfull, god fearing christians would burn their own family members alive because they thought they were witches, or simply throw them off a cliff and say "If your a witch youll fly off if not then youll die a good and pure christian". So obviously were not the brightest species around and certainly scared of anything we dont understand because humans are very superstitious. I mean if we accused someone of being a witch they would be tortured, with the churches consent, until they confessed to being a witch and then were burned alive, if they didnt confess then they just died from the torture, yeah love they neighbor I dont think was intended like that. About 300 years ago we knew the earth was flat and you would fall off it if you sailed to far out. We knew it was impossible to get to the moon. We knew that earth was the center of all exsistence. When you were sick you could be cured of letting of the "bad blood" to get the sickness out. Crazy people had holes drilled in their head to let out the spirits that haunted them. Those are very minor examples but you can see how intelligent we are and it just goes to show that humans only know what they want to know or are told. Who is to say we are any smarter now? Or are we just smarter now because we have a pill that makes your dick hard, cinnamon flavored dental floss or lights in our sneakers? Honestly we havent come that far.

2- Now religion was born long before those times, so does that it mean its as dependable as all those other things we believed? Religion during its inception was a form of control in a rather lawless world. Because how do you control a bunch of wild and superstitious creatures? You tell them that a god is vengeful and will send them to a firey pit of hell ruled by satan for all eternity, does that honestly sound the least bit sane to you? Because honestly if you took say 1,000 people right now that are good and law abiding christians who go to church every week, pay their taxes, dont drink, gamble, have sex other than for to have more children, obey every commandment and never do anything wrong and put them in the exact same life with nothing changed except the lack of christianity do you honestly believe all those people would still be as good, caring, kind, timid as they are now? Hell no they wouldnt, a portion of them may be but the control of religion missing would make them different people. Its still evident today and still used as a means of control by the controlling powers, why else do you think churches are about the only people in the nation that dont pay taxes? Hell its obvious a man wrote the bible, just look at it, its all about men because in those days men were dominant over women virtually everywhere, it wasnt till last 100 years ago that women have started to get out from underneath men where men put them. How many women besides Mary were mentioned in good light at depth in the bible? Hardly any. Bible says woman should be submissive to her husband, a daughter sleeps around her dad should burn her for her indescrestions, man did this, man does that, Eve fucked up the garden of eden and all this other nonsense. Hell the old school catholic church deemed divorce a sin but it was perfectly acceptable by the church for a man to kill his wife instead. 100 years ago in this country it was a sin for a woman to wear less than a bonet on her head, gloves and a dress that went from her neck to her feet as to not show any skin, give me a fucking break. If she did she was a whore, thats just fucking stupid and just men trying to control women because they were afraid if they had their own way they would leave the dickheaded, controlling, asshole men.

3- Holidays, oh shit this is a big one folks. Every single christian holiday is stolen from someone else. Along time ago the christians would stomp on the pagans and do their best to get them out of the picture (Pagans being around alot longer than christians) to make way for themselves and cover up anything pagan related. Even today pagan when used is a negative way of describing someone or something. 1- In the spring the pagan's had their spring festival for the birth of new life and during their festivals eggs and bunnies were used as signs of fertility for the new life. So the christians turned it into Easter which is in the spring, easter uses colored eggs and has a tale of a bunny to keep children interested, is meant for the new life of jesus and incase you didnt notice, easter day changes every year according to the posistion of the fucking moon, if thats not pagan then I dont know what is. Honestly what does coloring eggs, a bunny hiding them in grass for kids to find, and chocalate candy have to do with the birth of jesus? Nothing thats what, its just distorted pagan rituals used for christian means. 2- Halloween was basically a celtic pagan festival called Samhain on March 13 and pope gregory III changed it to October 31st and instead of burning their offerings christians made it so you got treats (yeah another thing to lure kids in and make it seem "less evil" in the eyes of the lord) by going door to door. 3- Christmas Im sorry was something else stolen from the pagans. Every wonder where Yule comes from in christmas and christian songs? Its a pagan word, it was a tree they would decorate outside during the winter equinox, so christians called it a christmas tree and chopped it down to bring inside to put presents under (yet again hooking the children). During the winter equinox pagans would offer gifts to show their thankfullness and hope for a easy winter, now christians made it so kids offer cookies and milk to santa in hopes for presents. I could go on and on but basically all holidays religion based today were stolen and transformed by christians to further their spread of their religion. Thou shalt not steal indeed. Even April Fools day is just the christians making fun of pagans. The pagans new year was April 1st, so when the christians changed their calendar new year to Janurary 1st and the pagans didnt they called it April Fools day because they didnt go along with them. So next time you pull a April Fools day joke on someone remember your partaking in a christian holiday invented to persecute a entire peoples ideals, isnt that like racism kinda? Yeah but christians dont care, they get to dislike anyone they want, more on this shortly.

4- Now we have something that always pissed me off, a bible story. So, we have Abraham a truly devoted, loving, caring man of god who loved his lord more than anything. So satan tells god that if he were stricken that he would denounce gods name. So according to the story god basically gives him boils and sores, kills his family, kills his livestock and knocks down his home and does terrible things to Abraham just to win a bet with satan. Hold the fuck on here, I thought god cherrished us and loved us above all else, why would he hurt people and ruin a faithfull mans good life just to prove a point? Alot of bible stories are like this, if you actually sit and look at them you'll find they arent exactly nice and usually just examples of someone being punished for something or something bad happening because of god or in the name of god.

5- Then you have all the contradictions like "thou shalt not kill", ok so its a commandment and its never ok to ever kill anyone for any reason. Excuse me didnt god just kill Abrahams family? What about all the armies in the name of god that killed thousands in the bible? What about this
"(Levtiticus 21:9 NAB) A priest's daughter who loses her honor by committing fornication and thereby dishonors her father also, shall be burned to death" what happened to thou shalt not kill?. Or here is a real fucking beauty, "(GE50:13) Jacob was buried in a cave at Machpelah bought from Ephron the Hittite. "(AC 7:15-16) He was buried in the sepulchre at Shechem, bought from the sons of Hamor." Or how about all the times god describes him and is described as loving, gentle, forgiving, caring, fatherfly but at the same time is vengeful, a warrior, jealous and a consumming fire. Thats the tip of iceberg, I could go and on about blatant contradictions.

6- How come the dinosaurs werent mentioned anyway? I mean if he created man in his own image what did he create dinosaurs in since they predate us? His cousin ted? And why is there a 65 billion year gap? Did he create the earth and then sit around playing checkers for 65 billion years before creating us? Bible talks in days. Ill tell you why dinosaurs werent mentioned, because they were here first and died before us, then 65 billion years went by and man came out of the swamps, evolved some and had no idea about dinosaurs because they were buried under the ground to far for us to reach or know about. So man wrote the bible with no understanding of them or the fact the earth was billions of years old already.

7- I have a personal distaste for religion as its sort of a convience that you can make it anything you want and a crutch for the weak minded. Honestly if christianity and the bible are the final word then how come we have dozens of versions of it? I tell you why, its so people who want to believe can pick their own desired level of commitment. On one hand if you want to be a diehard and really taking it to extremes you can be like a snake handler moron or if you just want to be religious enough to get by and have a get out of free jail card when you die you can be a lutheran, or if you want some crazy ideas and more than one wife? Be a mormon. So pick whatever religion you like. But who is really the right one? They all seem to think they are right but they cant all be. And crutches, oh the crutches are just a easy answer for anything for a christian. If a boy dies in a car wreck his mother can say "It was gods will", if the boy is in a car wreck and lives his mom can say "God saved you". You never hear a athlete loosing the big game and saying "Well, god must not have wanted us to win" you only hear god when they win. You can say it was or wasnt gods will to any scenario and it will sound just fine. A woman can have a mutated, cancer ridden baby that takes months to die of agonizing pain while the mother dies delivering it and the husband commits suicide over his grief and some small minded idiot will say "Well it was gods will". Its kind of like how idiots can make anything, no matter how stupid sound plausible if they add at the end "I read it in a article".

8- Humans are anything if vain, we all know it and we all see it everyday in our own lives and the lives of others. We love to feel so important, unique, special, gifted and the center of everything in this world that we invented god so we could say how important we are. Really its no surprise, were at the top of the food chain, created nuclear weapons, gone to the moon and all this other stuff that makes us (atleast in our minds) the most important thing on this planet ever in exsistence. So if were on top how do we feel better about ourselves? We create a imaginary god that lives in heaven and has specially created us just so he can watch us and love us from afar. How much fuller can we get of ourselves than to believe some omnipotent creator of the universe would create all of exsistence just for us to live in? Its the ultimate form of conceitement.

9- I guess god is just a aligator. He must be because if we were created in his own image then why do we share so many indisputeable anatomical and physiological and biological traits with many species of animals on the planet in a ever declining evolutionary scale? Surely if god created us in his own image we would physically be a little further up the scale than we currently are. An octopus has a far more complex anatomy than a human does, roaches are probablly the peak of evolution as we know it as they can survive far more than anyother creature on the planet. Everyone knows we share a great many traits with monkeys and vice versa, we also have organs that have ceased to be functional through evolution like the gal bladder and appendix. We have hair like animals, we have nails on our hands and feet like animals, we have sharp teeth for tearing meat, we have our eyes placed on the front of our heads to be able to see our prey and attack them since were predatory animals, we have fight or flight tendencies like animals, we even have basest sexual desires like animals (and yes even jerry faldwell has them, everyone does even if they dont admit it) because we are animals that happen to be able to build things well. Men have the sex drive of animals, thats why men want to fuck everything that moves is because they are compelled by animal instincts to spread the seed around, thats why women love creature comforts like bath towels, lots of pillows, a comfortable surrounding in their home and such is because they are just doing a form of nesting like animals do. So called "human behavior" can be drawn directly to the same things animals do also we just call it different things so we can be more civilized.

10- "I felt the touch of god", "God called out to me personally and blessed me with his light" or someother comment a person makes when they actually think they have felt god in their lives as a reality and not a metaphor is what is called, the placebo effect. Time and time again you hear about people who have been personally and literally felt god, well, its bullshit because its a placebo. A placebo has been used in medicine for a very long time, its basically where you take a ill person and give them like a little pill thats just colored sugar and tell them it will make them feel better. Simply because in their mind they think it will make them feel better and the mind is a powerfull thing, so they will feel better physically and mentally even though the pill has done nothing at all. Dr's in the 50's would do this alot today. Same thing applies here if a person believes hard enough jesus will reach out to them then they will actually believe its happening and the excitement of will just cement it as even more of a reality to them.

11- Religion breeds the most judgemental and unaccepting people I have ever met, I truly mean that. Religious people on whole will not accept anyone that doesnt agree with them (Ive already shown that above multiple times). If you talk to a atheist and you say your a christian unless they are just an asshole they wont care, but almost everytime that chritisian will start having to talk about jesus and try to convince the other person to agree with them instead of just letting them be without a single word otherwise. Ive gotten into a dozen arguments with relgious douche bags that come to my door and want to talk to me about god and I would say "I dont believe in god please dont bother me again, good day" and they stand there and counter point argue everything I say till I close the door in their face or get really nasty. I recently tried a online dating site and I had one woman message me saying how cute I was, how much she liked my profile and so on but after a couple messages she said she noticed my religion was listed as atheist and asked if it was right, course I said yes because its the truth and she replied "I cant be interested in anyone who doesnt love jesus"........really. And that didnt happen once, it happened 3 times in one month. None of them were willing to even find out my first name or even find out if I was a nice person and obviously didnt really care about who I was as a person, all they knew was that I didnt agree with their religion and thus labeled me unworthy to even send emails to anymore. Personally I wouldnt have cared, if I liked them for who they were as a person inside I wouldnt have cared what their faith was because I liked them. Far as judgemental, no one judges others more than christians. Christian (especially conservative ones) are constantly protesting something and condemming people because of something they believe. I have never seen a aethist or a satan worshipper or a pagan protest a catholic church, or even heard of such a thing because they dont like what they believe. But Ill tell you what I have seen many times, and thats a person dying in a hospital from lung, throat, brain, bone marrow, liver, kidney cancer just pissing and shitting themselves, not able to get out of bed and in constant pain and misery and wanting assisted suicide and some christian fuck getting on the news or calling them to say "You cant do that because god says its a sin and youll go to hell" fuck that, mind your own fucking business. You can also see how much of a bully christians are to how they will walk up to strangers houses to annoy them about jesus with no warning, hell how many times am I going to see christians going to poor countries to convert them to christian? The only reason those people put up with it is because they dont know what the fuck they are talking about but if your starving to death and someone offers you food in exchange for hearing about the lord, youll listen all they want if you get a hamburger out of the deal. Christians are the only people who barge into other countries and have the balls to tell them what to think and believe. Ive never had a budhist confront me at the store or a fucking satanist show up at my door.

After some reflection I am starting to think that christianity was started by pagans. Even the part "Drink this wine for it is my blood" sounds alot like vampirism and "eat this bread for it is my body" sounds pretty close to cannibalism. The two biggest holidays for christians are christmas and easter, meaning jesus was born and died on two of the biggest pagan holidays.

Really I could sit and write a novel on this stuff but thats not the point here and my point isnt to shit on anyones beliefs either, everyone has to make up their own mind in the end whether I agree with it or not its their own choice and Id never look down at someone for deciding what they want or dont want as a principal.

If were ever going to move forward as a species and mentally evolve we need to get rid of this old world, superstitious nonsense, all it does is hamper our minds and hold us back. Yes you can do whatever you like but try thinking for yourself for once, try using your mind and considering all the paths instead of just one set before you from a book of fairy tales. It takes a strong person to make their own choices, live up to their own convictions and be truly open minded about everything. Any simple minded sheep can just go through life believing what they are told to by others.

My 2 cents movie review: Paranormal Activity

2009-10-13T12:16:00.007-04:00

I post no spoilers in my reviews.

All in all I went into this with a sense of laughability due to the moronic commercials Ive seen where they used a night vision camera to show kids being scared in a theater while watching this movie. Kids dont know whats scary anymore, they think loud noises and shit jumping out suddenly is scary when its just surprising, I would be surprised if a dog jumped through my window but doesnt mean I would be scared of the dog. And I actually saw a claim "Scariest movie ever!" and thats a bold fucking statement. It all stank of cheap marketing tactics meant to drag in teens who would buy into it. This is Owen Peli's first movie of which he wrote and directed and is cast with equally no one I recgonized before.

Direction: Ugh, its shot in that fucking documentary style where the entire movie is shot with someone carrying around the camera so obviously there is nothing that paticullary well done and nothing we havent seen done in any other number of Blair Witch'esque type movies. I understood why they did it here as its supposed to make the movie seem more like its happening and explains alot of whats going on and how your able to see it but still this gimmick for movies is getting old, or I should say has gotten old. Bascially you just have 2 ways of the movie being show, 1- someone is carrying around the camera or 2- the camera is setup on a tripod to show stuff as people sleep or whatnot. Nothing special here and nothing you havent seen in a dozen other movies.

Acting: This was decent enough when it comes to the girl Katie. She didnt totally immerse herself into her character since her character was just a average "normal" girl and nothing else. And the guy Micha was your average guy who wanted sex alot, didnt get scared but only got mad and yelled at the ghost with lines like "You dont mess with my girl, Ill show you!" Its all just pretty much par for the course horror movie acting.

Storyline: The story oddly enough was pretty thin for a movie thats actually interesting. The atmosphere and sounds are what made the movie what it was. I do admit though I liked how they didnt feel the need to explain everything in exacting detail. You got a little backstory as to what was going on but not much, the story of what was currently going on wasnt much and got no real explanation but it worked for this. Sometimes not showing everything or telling everything has a better impact than flushing out ever single thing. My biggest complaint was the pacing. I understand you have to ramp up tension in a movie like this but 3/4 of the movie was slowly building and past 1/4 was diced between building a little faster and "BAM" everything happens. I wish they would have made the progression a little more even to keep increasing the pressure on the viewer instead of giving them comfort zones. My biggest problem though was the ending, it was fucking stupid and cheap. It ruined my experince with the rest of the movie by doing the exact same shit a hundred other movies have done and I was pissed because it just copped out and I felt like it was saying "Yeah your a stupid kid, you wont care about the ending because you dont know any better".

Effects: The sound is what really drove this movie in retrospect. The dead silence or noises from the house or slamming doors and such are what really made this movie scary, without them it would have been total shit. Everything had its place to and was often so subtle you couldnt really tell if you were hearing something or not. The visual effects were top notch, well what little there were since the movie really had no real visual effects except on 3 or 4 occasions. One in paticullar that happened on the 20th night I think it was actually impressed me at how real it looked.

Overall: Well was it scary? To me it was a little but then again Im a hardcore horror fan and Ive seen more fucked up shit in my short life than most have in their whole lives so its hard to scare me with anything let alone a movie. I can see how younger people or more senseitive people could be scared by this movie. I will say it left a certain imprint on me as I drove home at 130am that last rest of the night, I actually felt like I could understand the fear someone would have in that situation if it were real but that sense was long gone fairly quickly. So is it scariest movie of all time? Hell no its not, it is pretty good for just another documentary style movie though, but compared to most of them thats not hard to accomplish. But sadly I dont think the experince will translate to home video since again the sound is a big portion of it and seeing it on a small screen will make alot of its luster fade and once youve seen it, youve seen it. I enojyed myself and liked it but its kind of a one shot deal. I may have liked it better if not for the fucking cheap ass ending though, I cant come up with a male point of view analogy for the ending so Ill pretend Im a pretty young girl and I love dick for my ending comment and say "The ending of the movie was like sucking a nice beautiful cock then the guy cums old rancid mustard flavored jizz in your mouth unexpentantly and the whole experince is ruined".

To note though this movie is recieving most its praise because people on the whole believe in it being scary before they even have seen it and its gained so much attention from what I call "The rock on tv" phenomenon. Basically its this, if you took a rock and put it on a tv chanel and just showed the rock every hour for 15 seconds and nothing else and waited say a week, if you put that rock in a mall under glass people would walk by saying "Hey, isnt that the rock on tv?" and pretty soon they will be having their pictures taken with the rock and show their friends and tell them how cool it was to see the rock. So more or less with careful marketing, even a fucking rock can be cool to idiots. Im not saying people who like this movie are idiots but they definitely have bought into the hype that was created with twitter over this because it started with Paramount twittering how fucking horrifying this movie is and how scary it is but most importantly, how limited it was in showings. So naturally everyone started talking about and it built and built till you get a bunch of people scared and excited over something they havent seen and dont know why! But hey, its popular and they are in on it!

I give it 6 out of 10 stars.

Trailer: http://www.apple.com/trailers/paramount/paranormalactivity/

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This is fucking so ridiculous I cant even come up with a catchy title.

2009-10-13T11:54:00.004-04:00

So I see this costume today and I just cant even come up with the words to describe how it makes me feel really.

Now we all know that for years now adult women use Halloween as a excuse to dress like whores and then be offended when they are treated as such and say "Im a witch!", yeah people looking at you like a witch are as about as good of odds as Marv Albert getting the gold in female gymnastics.

So it now it seems were moderling our female youth to be trussed up hookers also since the age on the this package says 10-12. Really? Do 10 year old girls need to dress up like goth cheerleader prostitutes? Personally I lay alot of blame on tabloid magazines and shit like that since they glamorize all whorish tendencies of like paris hilton or britney spears, and rest of the blame falls on bad parenting.

On the whole I am very much a proponent of letting people be who they are but honestly this kind of shit aimed at kids isnt right to me because they are just that, kids. Funny thing about kids is you have to train them because kids only know what they grow up. So if a 28 year old woman wants be a slut thats fine, but if she is a slut because her parents thought shit like this is ok to wear when your 10 years old thats another story.

I feel like I should have alot more to say about this but its just so god damn stupid it hurts my brain to try and sort it out. I just hope most parents have more than 2 working brain cells to rub together and realize this is a bad idea.

My 2 cents movie review: Trick R Treat.

2009-10-12T10:26:00.002-04:00

I post no movie spoilers in my reviews.

Well some maybe wondering "Damn Gar your reviewing a movie thats on dvd?", well yes I am since this never got a proper theatrical release it was only out in a couple cities for a brief period of time and went to video and was released this past week so I checked it out and figured it was due a review.

Aside from an animated movie called Seasons Greetings this is Michael Doughterty's first real chance sitting in the directors chair for a film. The premise has had my interest for quite sometime, awhile back I saw this creepy pic of kids in elaborate costumes on a school bus and reading it was about 4 seperate tales taking place on the same night of Halloween and I was intrigued. But after along time of waiting its finally here. I was also excited to see that Dylan Baker and Briax Cox were in it because I like them both alot. Im also a sucker for a horror movie, especially one thats built around Halloween.

Direction: The direction in this was very nice, it had its own distinct look and feel with some really interesting shots and angles in it. I was paticullary fond of the lighting in alot of shots, especially of when you see the children on the bus. I was glad to not see that guerilla style camera work or that fucking overused shaky cam style where it like vibrates almost and frames are cut and frame speed sped up. Everything seemed to be saturated with a Halloween feel as well. Streets were lined with jack o lanterns and filled with fallen leaves and just had this very Halloweeneey spirit to it all visually, almost like it was pulled from some childrens fairy tale.

Acting: The acting all in all was pretty solid. Dylan and Brian stood out from the others but nothing here was astounding. All the characters were portrayed just fine though and no one felt out of place or miscast. My only complaint about the acting is there wasnt enough time or story to allow the characters to really be flushed out and given a more human touch to them, this afterall was 4 stories in 90 minutes.

Storyline: This sadly not up to par with the rest of the film and thus the largest problem because any movie without a proper story doesnt stand up straight without alot of support. I really liked the ideas behind all 4 stories but they were rushed to much and felt like they all had something that was left out from the original draft, granted again your telling 4 stories in 90 minutes so you have to cut every corner but it was a real shame it had to be done here. One arc in paticullar could have been left out with the girls as in the end it didnt seem to fit quite as well as the others and didnt really add anything to the movie as a whole. Far as story goes there was alot of potential wasted or just not utilized properly, this could have been such a better movie if it only had been little longer or the one non essential story removed to make room for the others. This was my biggest dissapointment with the movie.

Effects: The sound effects were fitting but nothing special really, was a shame they didnt try to audibly speaking try and make the movie more unique. Sound effects and music were pretty standard and not skimpy in the least but they could have benefited from some more tlc. Visual effects were just fine, not great but good for this movie since this was more of a atmosphereic film than a special effects film. Nothing really looked to fake with the exception of a mask removal at the end which seemed to not quite blend with the rest of the film but even that is a minor complaint (Personally I think the unmasking would have been better left off camera).

Overall: Really, Trick R Treat is a solid Halloween based horror movie with some interesting elements, good story despite needing more polishing and it had its own look and feel. I would have been happy to pay theater price to see it on a big screen but that didnt come to pass. I definitely think this is worth atleast 1 viewing and perhaps Ill get it on dvd later on after the recent rush of new release games is over if I can find it less than 10 bucks as I dont think its worth more than that to own. I was pleased with the movie though and it satisfied the childlike part of my brain that still pines for old fashioned Halloween movies, its not perfect but it gets the job done.

I give it 7 out of 10 stars.

Trailer: http://www.movieweb.com/video/VILY4QPTAVi7PT

My 2 cents movie review: Pandorum.

2009-10-09T12:19:00.002-04:00

I post no spoilers in my reviews.

Im always up for a good space horror movie and this looked like it could be the next Event Horizon (which was great till the last 2 minutes ruined the rest of the movie with its shitty brainless ending) and it has Dennis Quaid so I was excited to see this movie. After seeing it I realized 2 things. #1 Its bascially stolen from four different movies Event Horizon, The Descent, Aliens and a dash of Sunshine. #2 Antje Traue is quite sexy. This is the first time Ive seen a movie from director Christian Alvart, he has done a few others Id not heard of like Antikorper so going by that title and fact 90% of the credits had German names Im guessing he is German also.

Direction: This was pretty much standard fare here for a horror movie in this day and age, which is a shame because it could have stood to have had some better shots and slower, more showcasing shots. My only real complaint was the action sequences, they were all filmed with that high speed frame rate, semi shaky camera and the lens was being whipped around so fast it was sometimes hard to tell exactly what was going on, I guess to hide shoddy special effects. Just ever since Saw this whole sped up and erratic camera style is becoming more popular for horror movies and I hate it because its cheap and doesnt enchance the movie any, its just fast and loud gimmick for kids with no attention span to keep them focused. Overall the direction wasnt bad persay but it was generic and sterile for this genre with no real unique feel to it and not what would have suited this film.

Acting: The acting was ok, it was pretty much what you would expect for a movie like this. Not much to say really here as no oscars will be handed out for this movie. Since this wasnt exactly a character piece the need for acting chops wasnt a neccestity. The ship itself was a character though and decently done so. I wished they had worked on it some more though instead of just making it a spaceship with flickering lights and designed to be the most uncomfortable place to live ever and given it more of a look and feel all its own. Some segements like the man covered in hypersleep goo crawling and screaming out of a vent lined with rubber hoses was very birthlike in its symbolism which comes into play at the end, I just wish it had more like that in it. Other than that the acting wasnt horrible but very much what youd expect from a movie like this.

Storyline: As I stated at the start the whole storyline is basically stolen from several other movies and really is in now way unique, its all very "Been there, done that" in its approach. There are several twists that I did not see coming but due to pacing and direction they didnt surprise me as much as they could have. If just little more work had been put into polishing the story and suprises it could have raised the movies bar up more. Despite obvious thievery it worked fairly well here and kept my mind interested in what was going on.

Effects: Well the sound was a problem for me, especially when it came to hearing them talk. A combination of loud background noises from the ship and the echoing effect added in to make it feel like a giant ship jumbled the dialouge quite alot and made it at important parts hard to understand exactly what was being said. The visual effects werent to bad, the ship itself being the biggest and most consistant effect took center stage. The outside shots of it were cool but again inside it could have used something to create more of a personal touch and not so much like a drifting tin can. Visually nothing stood out as bad but then again nothing stood out as being good either.

Overall: If you liked The Descent, Sunshine, Aliens and Event Horizon you would enjoy this as well since it borrows from their better points. Aside from a brief time towards the end it had my attention constantly and entertained me. This did exactly what it was meant to, distract you for 90 minutes and thats it. I wont be buying the dvd or really care if I see it again but it was worth seeing in a theater one time. At the end of the day this will fall into obscurity along with the hundreds of other space horror flicks and be forgotten within 6 months.

I give it 5 out of 10 stars.

Trailer: http://www.apple.com/trailers/independent/pandorum/

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The pumpkin has been carved!

2009-10-08T15:23:00.003-04:00

Ah pumpkin carving, one of the few traditions I keep like clockwork seeing as Halloween is the only holiday I recognize. Even now as I creep up on 34 years of age (not that age has anything to do with what you can or cant enjoy) I still love carving a jack o lantern. I jumped the gun a bit this year as its the 8th and Halloween is still weeks off so hopefully the old boy wont be rotten by that time but it was such a nice day out and was nice to sit in the sun with the breeze blowing and crisp autumn air and I couldnt resist.

So here are some snaps I took of my ward against evil spirits. At first I was looking at other ones online trying to find something to make, then I was going to draw a layout to cut on the pumpkin and I realized I was taking the fun out of doing this so I grabbed a knife and started chopping away and letting it come out however it came out.

Interesting image time again.

2009-10-08T15:16:00.004-04:00

Just some random images or whatnot I found stumbling around the net like Rick Allen after a wedding with a open bar.

October, home to my favorite holiday, Halloween.

2009-10-01T20:28:00.004-04:00

Ah Halloween, how I missed you.

Halloween is basically like christmas for me, really its like every holiday rolled into one for me and the only holiday I recognize. Every time Halloween rolls around I get flashbacks to as a kid how much fun it was seeing houses decorated, people in costumes, the cool moon filled nights of fall, knowing evil was afoot looking out into the night and seeing leaves rustles by in the breeze and that fresh crisp smell of autumn air. Even as a kid I found Halloween night as a magical night for me. I spent the majority of my childhood with my grandparents in the country so overnight excusions into the hills alone, sleeping in the woods by a fire with just my satchel of basic supplies and pistol (alot of coyotes out there) were quite common, but just something about Halloween night was more of an adventure, one just for me. Maybe its just more suited to my morbid sense of being.

Halloween is a linguistic breakdown of All Hallow’s Evening, which broke down to All Hallow’s Even, which broke down to All Hallow’s Eve which somehow managed to mutate to Halloween. What does that mean? All Hallow’s Eve was the Christian replacement for the Celtic Pagan festival of Samhain. Originally, set on March 13, Pope Gregory III moved it to October 31st in 9th century, AD. Christian settlement of Ireland, England and Scotland began in 6th Century, AD and over a period of several hundred years, they slowly replaced the pagan traditions with traditions from their own faith, often replacing Celtic holidays with their own in order to ease the transition. All Hallow’s Eve, also known as All Saints or All Souls Day (now a separate pair of Christian holidays on the first and second of November), is your typical Day of the Dead festival similar to the Mexican Dia De Los Muertos yet without all the revelry and sweet iconography and stacked to the rafters with the laconic sincerity of Ireland’s dreary brand of Catholicism.

Damn christians always take other holidays and turn it into something for themselves. Like Easter for instance is another holiday taken from pagans. Lets look at this a little closer and Ill use easter as my template. 1- The pagans has the spring festival which they celebrated the birth of new life, christians took it over and called it easter to celebrate the new birth of jesus. 2- The pagans saw rabbits as signs of fertility in their festival again as sign of new life, the christians took rabbits and made a fairy tale out of it to make the holiday more digestable by making it fun for kids as I cant think of anyother reason why rabbits would be associated with jesus. 3- The pagans used eggs as a sign of fertility also for their spring festival, so christians took eggs and colored them again to get kids interested in it because really what do colored eggs have to do with jesus? 4- The day easter is on changes every year depending on the posistion of the moon for fucks sake, if thats not pagan then I dont know what is. Whoever invented christianity is a genius because they dont pay taxes to the government and are able to take whatever holidays they want from others and turn it into what they want.

Im going way off the rails here though, this is about Halloween!

Looking around at Halloween the past 10 years I see it diminsh each year. Gone are the days when everyone was enjoying the day. As a kid I remember one ladys house where her whole family got into it. You could hear the spooky music and kids screaming as they ran from the house 2 blocks away. The whole house was decorated and I got the shit scared out of me when I got the courage to walk up to the porch to see chairs lining the long porch with dummies in them and as I reached for the candy bowl in the lap of a dummy it reached out and grabbed me, it was her husband and I ran away. Now if Im lucky someone has a paper cutout of a bat on their door and thats it, no one seems to want to have fun with the holiday as if our society is somehow to mature to have fun doing something that doesnt require wrapping gifts. Now we all we have are lame adult parties for an excuse to drink where women dress like sluts and say "Im a witch", of course you are.

Fight smack in the orphanage on October 16th you jive ass motherfucka!

2009-09-29T19:00:00.006-04:00

Pretty much assured to be overlooked by almost everyone the film Black Dynamite will be hitting theaters Oct 16th, trailer below.

Im not much for pimping other peoples shit but this is a worthy exception. Im not entirely sure what its about since I do my best to avoid all spoilers when it comes to movies, comics and games if its something I wish to invest my time and or money in.

As a child of exploitation films of all kinds such as sexploitation, blaxploitation or just plain old exploitation this trailer made me giddy with excitement and laughing at the prospect of getting to see this in a theater. I was filled with memories of old blaxploitation movies like Shaft, Coffy, The Mack, Dolemite, Super Fly, or Hell up in Harlem and recall seeing them when I was a kid from local video store or occasionally on cable tv when it first came to our area. Now this is obviously not a serious film like others I mentioned but it does look while its making fun of that genre it seems like it could walk a fine line between being a spoof while at the same time being its own brand of blaxpoitation, either way it looks like it could be alot of fun.

So here is to hoping it does well and heres to hoping maybe this will make Michael Jai White more well known, he isnt exactly a great actor but he is likeable and that goes along way, kind of like Bruce Willis when he was starting out.

Trailer: http://www.blackdynamitemovie.com/

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My 2 cents game review: Ghostbusters

2009-09-29T14:35:00.003-04:00

I know Im a little behind for reviewing this but being me I cant afford to buy all the new games coming out at 60 bucks a pop and then blow through them. So most new games I have to wait till it reaches my affordability of "I got it off ebay for less than 30 bucks after shipping".

I was hesistant about getting Ghostbusters at full price because while I love the Ghostbusters movie I was having a hard time seeing a 25 year old movie turned into a modern video game because the problem is thus, when you revive old stuff like this 20 or more years later its being made by people who are fanboys of it and thus indulging their own nerdoff fantasies before thinking what impact it will have. Yes yes I know the original people were back to voice, advise and write the game but again, its been along time and whatever they had that worked back then wont always work again because they have changed and times have changed. Just because something is a classic doesnt mean it needs to be revived.

At any rate the game is pretty good but not great. The voice acting was great as well as the characters portrayls, except Venkman because he was wayyyyy to hammy in this to the point of being annoying and over the top for his character while everyone else pretty much stayed the same.

I got excited hearing the music and sound effects, hearing the voices, it was like a flashback to better days. I laughed out loud a few times at some jokes made, the sound of the proton pack heating up made me smile and seeing the Ecto-1 wheeling around was a treat. I was dissapointed you dont play as the Ghostbusters, but instead a recruit. It fits the story well enough and works in this, its not the best but it never annoyed me.

My complaints.

1-The story itself was so self indulgent that it was fairly uninteresting and boring, I also didnt like that the entire story was just a excuse to re-tread all the old ground from the first movie. Even large portions of the game were the exact same ghosts, in the exact same areas from the first movie, it was all very "Been there done that". Its just felt cheap, rushed and small.

2-Busting ghosts was a pain in the ass to because all the ghosts have annoyingly large health meters that take forever to drain them down far enough you could grab them with a capture stream, them smack them around a couple times then wrangle them into a trap, fighting them as they try to get away which took way to much time to get them into. Then you had the problem of moving them over a trap you drop, while your partners try to wrangle them over a trap they dropped and you have to do this for each ghost. Yeah you get 4 different weapons but I dont want to shoot green snot or yellow bullets, I only used the other 3 when a puzzle required me to the rest of the time I wanted the proton pack because this is the Ghostbusters god damnit.

3- Its basically a flip of the coin whether youll survive an encounter with ghosts or not because you constantly get blind sided because the control sucks and the ghosts fly around so fast allover the place and with your ass taking up 1/5th of the screen while you shoot brightly colored partical streams about you can only see about 1/2 of whats going on, then you have your team mates throwing streams allover the place, shit is breaking, monsters are darting all around and you constantly get cheaply hit because you cant tell whats going on. Well its unfair to say your always getting sucker punched, because when your not your team mates are and they lay helplessly crying for help till you go over and pick them up at which point one or both will be knocked right back down, so youll be starting over......alot. I was so fucking sick of hearing Peter saying "ow.....owwwwwww" over and over and over and over again that I wished he would die so I didnt have to hear him for the rest of the game. Oh and dont cross the streams, course with so much shit going on that youd swear your standing in a fireworks factory during a nuclear blast its hard to tell if your crossing a stream or not.

I really want to say this game is great but its just Ghostbusters 30 something fans jerking off and calling it a game. Its not horrible and I had fun with it but I dont have a big desire to play it again. Its a good game if your a real fan of the original Ghostbusters movie and thats the only people this game will appeal to is the fans, if you havent seen the Ghostbusters or dont like it then your probablly not going to like this, but if you want it then I would say its not worth more than 25 bucks.

I give it 5 out of 10 stars.

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My 2 cents review: Halloween 2 (2009)

2009-09-27T10:36:00.003-04:00

As usual, I post no movie spoilers.

Well I finally got up the desire to post this review, been in a slump lately about wanting to post anything on here really. At any rate have Rob Zombies sequel to his remake of a old franchise, Halloween. His first Halloween remake was met with basically "this kinda sucks" tone from the horror peanut gallery which I believe is mostly due to #1 you can never please hardly anyone anymore, #2 you can please fans of something with a remake because they set way to high of standards and expect the remakes to be exactly the same as the original. But afterall it was titled "Rob Zombies Halloween" not "Rob zombies identical shot by shot remake of John Carpentars Halloween". Basically if Rob Zombie makes a movie I can more or less know exactly what Im getting into because all of his movies have the exact same style and tone to them, this one being more of what youd expect from Rob more so than the first Halloween he did.

Direction: Its a Rob Zombie movie so you know what to expect. It has that music video feel to it like all of his stuff, fast paced camera work, alot of boring camera shaking going on, alot of focus in/focus out shots, off center posistioning and a fuck ton of color filtering with mostly underlit scenes. This is pretty par for the course kind of directing where nothing is unique, different, stylish or really polished, its just a guy pointing a camera around. Only movie he did where I thought the direction was good was in Devils Rejects, other than that he hasnt ever really impressed me or gone above anyother standard, generic horror movie director and this isnt an exception.

Acting: Well, it sucks and not a good kind of suck, the kind of suck where its suckage is due to overly developed characters that are just obnoxiously pretentious in how they are presented. Scenes like a bunch of girls in ripped jeans and alice cooper shirts standing on a bar in a hippie coffee shop head banging to rock music that was made long before they were even born and doing their version of "air guitar on a tennis racket" while hooting made me roll my eyes in bordem. All the main girls in the movie were generic, slacked, hippie, rocker wannabe, rebel, depressed, repressed types that were so cliched and generic I didnt paticullary care about whether they lived or died. Even characters I liked were still right from the book of broken cliches, like the sheriff was the dad who loved his daughter and was the old time mans man that loved meat and teased his daughter about it because she was a vegetarian. Just all in all the acting was quite sterile as were the characters, they had no personality or persona about them, they just felt like stapled characters. The only actor I did like in this was sheriff Brackett, then again Ive always liked Brad Douriff. I wish I could say the same for Dr Loomis as I also love Malcom Mcdowell but his character was changed so much and had no important moments on screen that I didnt give a toss.

Storyline: It was fucking jumbled, confusing and ridiculous. I think everyone hated how Rob tried to explain Michael in the first movie and put a face on everything so in this one he did the opposite and just made everything a convoluted mess. I had no idea what the horse meant, the bits with his mother, or anything else really aside from Michael kills a bunch of people, sometimes for no reason at all. Even with some time for after thought I couldnt really figure out exactly why or how things were happening. It seemed more like some rash, last minute throwing together of a story than anything that had some thought put into it. I hope next time Rob realizes that you cant shoe horn in symbolism or artistic sentiment into a movie and not have a end result more than muddled puke pile.

Effects: Sadly till the end I didnt hear anything musically wise reminding me of Halloween, the rest as per Robs usual is classic rock hits shoved into the movie as a soundtrack. You know Im sorry, just because you cram in Knights in White Satin doesnt make anything anymore scary or moody. Tarantino has mastered the art of putting real music into movies and making it work, everyone else can fuck off because its distracting and detracts from the movie unless you can get it perfect. Sound effects were your standard big boots trodding painfully slow as Michael walks, crunchy and wet sounding stabs and screams that sounded like the person who trying to watch their favorite tv show while recording them. Visual effects were fine and dandy like sour candy, nothing really looked out of place and I did love the lighting and set pieces (except the girls horriblly staged bathroom). The overall look and feel of the movie comforted me in some flashback to 80's horror in some way.

Overall: At the end of the credits I felt like he just take all the negative comments fans made about the first one and tried to do a 180 on them. The only parts I was excited about were seeing actors pop up I hadnt seen in forever. Luckily I was alone in the theater because I got to yell "Haha its Johnny Fever!" when I saw Howard Hessman get his whole 9 seconds of screen time or I said "Fucking sweet its Stretch!" when I saw Caroline Williams come on screen for like 17 seconds. So really if you have nothing else you want to see and go to a movie thats the very definition of popcorn cinema then by all means have at it, me personally, I was dissapointed and was hoping Rob would really make this a comeback film. While I actually enjoyed the first one this one is just a cluster fuck of a movie I wont be buying on dvd or even care if I ever see it again. Maybe Im just sick of Halloween on the whole because the entire franchise has been run into the ground with god awfull teeny bopper sequels with shitty stories and stars that are hot at the moment with the kids like fucking busta rhymes. And the news of Halloween being reboot again in 3D just pisses on the coffin they put the last nail in 3 sequels ago. Halloween 3 season of the witch was the last good Halloween movie and the kicker is, its not even a Halloween movie really and doesnt have Michael but its still a really great, unique and mean spirited movie. Hopefully this 3D remake will tank and they will just go onto something else and kill the Halloween franchise.

I give it 4 out of 10 stars.

Trailer: http://www.apple.com/trailers/weinstein/h2/

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Best Buy officially now on my shit list with Gamestop.

2009-09-19T19:35:00.007-04:00

Im saving the best for last here folks so bare with me.

I used to love Best Buy, they always had alot of stuff, had good sales, decent prices and the customer service wasnt to shabby either.

Over the last year or so Ive noticed their customer service went to shit, which come to find out is because the stores hiring policy by me is they only hire part timers that work about 16 hours and are almost all under the age of 25, they will not hire people on as fulltime. Im guessing so they dont have to pay out on insurance for as many fulltimers, kids are cheap and expendable. So their customer service is just pure shit now. So instead of people working there trying to earn some decent money and working because they like it you end up with some kids trying to make chump change so their parents dont bitch about them not saving up for their car insurance and dont really give a toss because they are kids and only make like 8 bucks an hour at like 15 hours a week.

Their sales are more or less gone now. Each week I look in their ad and I see their "super dooper summer, once in a lifetime slammer sale package deal" is just a couple items like a hd-tv, a blu ray player and some expensive speakers put together and priced exactly the same as if you bought them seperate. I also usually see games in bold showcasing them as if they were on sale for the exact same price as everyother store. Or have a big blowout on some big screen hd-tv and I can find the tv exact same price on amazon or less.

The reward zone cards are a fucking joke now. You have to fucking buy what seems like a thousand dollars of shit to get a measley 5 dollar gift certificate that takes 6 weeks to show up.

And their selection is no mediocre for a store at best and laughable compared to online stores that you dont have to pay tax at and often get free shipping like my personal favorite place for dvds when they have in deepdiscount.com has free shipping on everything or amazons deals.

Minor gripe Im sure here but their bathrooms are disgusting, Ive seen worse but what the fuck man, why are the god damn walls damp? It smells like piss mopped up with cold water. If that were my bathroom Id be embarassed. It wasnt even like the maids day off or whatever, Ive used it 3 or 4 times past 6 months and its always the same, even after they open first thing in the morning.

But I saw this today and its the proverbial straw that broke the camels back and officially made me swear off bestbuy like I have lamestop. You can click it to enlarge it.

That is a fucking criminal clockwork ass raping, with no lube. That has got to be the most incredibly outright customer ripoff I have ever seen best buy make. If you even CONSIDERING paying for this please for the love or whatever deity you believe in, message me first, I will help you for FREE. No one, I mean no one should pay that much for something so fucking lame. If nothing else call Sony yourself and they will talk you through it on the phone for free or at the very least read the fucking manual.

Lets go over there list here.

1- "Setup and configure gaming console", that means you turn the fucking thing on, enter a date/time when the screen prompts you to first time you turn it on. Then either plugging in a network cable or selecting wireless internet connection, then you click easy settings and if you have wireless enter the password you already put on your router and thats it, its all menu driven and explained right on the screen and easy as it sounds. Again calling sony they will help you free.

2- "Installation of the latest firmware", you know what that is? When you have your internet connection and on the ps3 main menu you scroll to the far left, scroll to the top and select the fucking button that says "firmware update" and the ps3 does everything else for you automatically aside from pushing X a couple times to start the download/install. If you dont have the internet sonys website explains easily how to do so through your pc using a cdr or a flash drive, but you dont really need a firmware update. All firmware updates that are required by a game are included on its disc and will update before you can play the game. Again call sony and hey will help for free.

3- "Setup and configure local user accounts with parental controls". What means is they will pick a username when the ps3 tells them to, they will select the parental control option level when it tells you to and thats it. Again call sony if you have problems understanding this complex process or consult the manual it only gives you directions on how to do that yourself.

4- "setup and configuration of one online account". This means they go to the playstation store icon on the ps3 main menu, click it, will ask for your email address, type in said email address for you, will ask you what you want your password to be and then type in said password and they are done. So they basically just read you whats on the screen and push controller buttons for you. Sony will walk you through this free if you call or the god damn manual will tell you how to also.

This is actually offensive that they think people are so fucking stupid they would pay for this. But from what Ive seen from geek squads prices, they should replace their customer counter with a padded bench so the customers could just walk in, drop their pants and bend over the bench when they bring in their computers because after closer inspection of their prices I see they charge 650 dollars to mount a tv on the wall, 650 fucking fuckdollars to take a plastic mount about 6 inches by 6 inches, put some drywall anchors in the wall, screw the mount to them and then put like a 20lb tv on it, I even asked and they dont snake cables through the wall or anything, they leave them hanging. Or for 50 bucks they will do a xbox 360 hard drive file swap. If you call microsoft they will mail you a transfer cable FREE with really easy directions to do it yourself.

So in closing, Fuck You bestbuy and Fuck You geek squad you bunch of pompous, greedy fucktits.

My 2 cents movie review: Inglorious Basterds.

2009-09-08T11:58:00.004-04:00

Per standards I dont post spoilers.

So Ive been pissing myself with yellow streams of hot excitement at the prospect of a new Quentin Tarantino movie so here we are folks. If your reading this then you probablly know who he is, if not then he was also writer and director for movies like Pulp Fiction, Resevoir Dogs, Kill Bill vol 1&2, Jackie Brown, and Deathproof. This film is his homage to italian made WW2 movies like Eagles Over London or the original movie Inglorious Bastards (spelled different and not related to eachother aside from title). Quentin was the reason I became interested in film as more than just entertainment, after seeing Resevoir Dogs I became enthralled with camera angles, movements, shot taking and everything else having to do with directing. If I were Batman, Quentin would be my murdered parents if you catch my drift.

Direction: As usual with him the directing was AAA all the way, I have always loved his exceptional eye for the lens and this is no exception. He shows everything just perfectly and very fluidly. I did notice he is starting to re-tread ground, this movie felt very Kill Bill alot of times, using swooping camera motions and snap to shots. Not that I am complaining but Im starting to see him reusing his favorite camera tricks multiple times over the course of his last few movies. It was also evident in his use of chapters like KB, I personally saw no point in the chapters myself. Im guessing he shuffles parts of the movie around a little to keep people paying attention and to be different but when you have to start labelling those seperate section it takes away from the point of doing so. Yes it worked wonderfully in KB but it feels out of place here.

Acting: The acting was very solid on the whole really. No one felt really forced or completely out of place. The only one I didnt really care for Brad Pitt, he didnt have the flow everyone else did and he was always scrunching his face up like and trying to give mannersisms as if Tarantino told him to try and act like Michael Madsen because he originally wanted him in the part but he couldnt make it. He also sounded like he was trying to be a stereotypical american while everyone else was seemingly not trying at all to be who they were. Only times I liked his character was when he would say something ammusing and that was just the dialouge written for him and not so much his acting skills. Now! On the other hand you have Christoph Waltz who played Colonel Hans Landa and he was fucking awesome in this part, I really loved the job he did with him, he really made the character. Whenever he was on screen he had my total attention and enjoyed watching him very much. He gave the character a real human element and he seemed to be a split character. One hand he was this horrible person Id gladly have killed but on the other hand he also had this like subdued side that made him seem like he wasnt such a bad guy deep down or something such as that. He was just difficult because Id have cut his throat but at the same time he seemed like someone you could be friends with. Everyone else did a pretty good job and no other real complaints. But just Pitt and Waltz were my 2 polar opposites in the movie as examples of good and bad.

Storyline: Ok this is where the thread starts getting thin. Deep down, somewhere in Tarantino's mind was a great story waiting to come out but it got lost somewhere in the shuffle. At its heart I loved the idea of the movies story, it had alot of potential but in execution it got lost in translation. The characters were my first complaint and basically it follows as thus, I didnt give a shit about 90% of them. He spent all this time explaining and setting up a few characters and forcing you to understand them and then does something bad to them and my only thought was "what the fuck? why did he bother just setting them up and boring me for 10 minutes only to do that? what a waste". And I know what he was doing, he was trying to emotionally get you invested in his characters and make them seem like someone you know before he sucker punches you, just like he did with the girls in first half of Deathproof. But it didnt work here, he told the story of interesting characters who didnt last long in the movie and he barely delt with the real characters that were very interesting. Storywise I was very satisfied with Hans Landa, the basterds as a group I was very unsatisfied with as they were barely in the movie and felt like potential wasted. He tried to make the movie this compelling human interest film I think instead of what he originally billed it as, which is a action/adventure take on movies like Dirty Dozen or Force 10 from Navarone. The story felt like a mish mash of several half baked ideas and personally I was expecting something big at the end because he was building it up alot but it sort of was just, nothing special at the film house. Its hard to explain without writing a novel but in the story was a good idea that got lost, it seemed like he wrote out this long first draft years ago and never, ever changed a thing or revised it, he just shot it as is. The story like a plant needed alot of pruning and repotting before it could really bloom. The story just felt rushed in alot of parts and not cared for like he usually does.

Effects: As usual his sound effects were great and improve with each film, they were especially nice in a theater with good sound equipment. The music was very nice also and I was glad he didnt use alot of songs he grew up with or whatnot as his usual thing, although the David Bowie song in there really didnt fit at all, I wish he had stuck with more fitting music. Visual effects again were his usual great work, what there was in there that is. Everything felt real and looked real and didnt have a hint of being truly fake, except the far back baseball bat to the head looked like crap, the head bounced around like a rubber dummies head but other than that it was great.

Overall: In the end the movie needed about 15 minutes cut out of it and been re-tooled alot. Like I said multiple times there is a much greater movie buried somewhere in there. Its not bad persay but it definitely is my least favorite of his movies. But you cant expect the goose to lay golden eggs everytime I suppose. Looking back I did enjoy the movie alot but it was just not what it could have been. Im sure Ill buy the dvd and watch it on occasion.

I give it 7 out of 10 stars.

Trailer: http://www.apple.com/trailers/weinstein/inglouriousbasterds/

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My 2 cents game review: Batman Arkham Asylum

2009-09-08T11:39:00.005-04:00

I wasnt sure about Batman when I first heard about it, then again in this day and age of developer bullshitting hype meters going so far off the scale at the slightest mention of a game that you would expect every single game to be released is going to descend from heaven in a gold chariot to bring upon us mere mortals a eternity of blissfull exsistence. So to me when it comes to games and movies on the whole its easier for me to assume everything is shit till it proves itself otherwise, that way on the rare occasion it isnt shit then I am very surprised and pleased at finding my diamond in the proverbial rough.

I really loved how they kept it dark but didnt use the color pallete of gun metal grey and dirt like 95% of the games out now do. It was dark but still colorfull. I liked the very simple combat mechanics, the storyline, the characters, voice acting, the setting and the pacing. It was a very polished game that you could tell was made by people who really wanted to make a good game. I was paticullary pleasured by how much it felt like you were Batman, I felt like I was actually a highly trained hand to hand combat fighting machine going up against 5 guys, or I felt like I was this thing of the dark instilling fear in my enemies when I skulked around or hung upside down waiting to snatch up a unsuspecting victim.

My only complaints were as follows.

1- The final boss fight sucked. It was stripped down, basic, dumbed down and unsatisfying. It had no flair that anyother boss fight had, it was just very flat and seemed like they said "Ok we ship the game in 3 days we need to just throw together the last fight in the next 3 hours".

2- The ending fucking sucked. After winning the final boss fight I was awarded with like 32 seconds of a boring, cliche and generic ending that felt very stale and uninspired. The point of a ending to any game or story is to satisfy the people for sticking with you till the end, good or bad endings its about leaving the person happy and wanting more. This felt like the person in charge of the ending overspent his lunch at a bar drinking and was late getting back to work to do the ending and just scribbled something on a cocktail napkin.

3- It was to easy and short. But first I will say maybe shorter was a good thing as it allowed the story to be constantly going forward without adding in a bunch of stupid side mission time wasters there just for the sake of increasing gameplay time. I got the game friday and beat it sunday, I didnt even like stay up all night or anything. I played it on normal, beat the game, unlocked 67% of the trophies, found all 240 of the ingame riddler clues, read all the hidden bios, and listened to all the voice recordings in a weekend. I mean I still have challenge maps to go through including my ps3 exclusive joker map but Im not in a big rush for that. I just wish it had like one more small to medium sized area to explore and one more boss fight just to maximize the games potential. But then again its a fine line between to much and not enough, all in all though I was pleased with the content.

4- I wished it played more on his detective aspect because thats whats really one of Batmans cooler aspect is that he has this brilliant mind and is afterall called the worlds greatest detective. As Batman in the game I never felt I got to solve anything or figure anything out myself, the game sort of held my hand and led me around when it came to solving things (aside from the riddler hidden trophies that is). His crime busting brain skills were displayed well but depended little to much on his gadgetry instead of his cranial capacity. Maybe next time they will be able to wedge in some more cerebral workouts for batsy.

All in all its a fine example of how you make a solid game and it really is the best Batman game ever made and really one of the best comic book games I ever played.

Id give it a 8 out 10 stars.

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My 2 cents movie review: District 9

2009-08-31T10:26:00.003-04:00

Per the usual standard, no spoilers in my reviews.

First off, Peter Jacksons name on the posters and adverts can just fuck right off. He didnt do shit but poney up some dough and produce it, his name is strictly there as a marketing tactic. He didnt write it or direct it, I hate it when they do that put some big shots name on something for not doing shit. District 9 was written and directed by Neill Blomkamp whos other movies Tempbot and Alive in Joburg I have never seen, infact I never heard of him till now. Just incase you dont want to read the whole review then you can get my impression of it by me stating, this movie appealed to the squishy bits of the pleasure center in my gray matter like I was blasted with a double barrell shotgun loaded with handjobs.

Direction: What can I say besides it was terrific? Not astounding or magnificent but it was pretty damn good. I was slightly annoyed though by the fact its shot guerilla style which means shaky cam or documentary style but the entire movie did feel like you were watching a news story to be honest so I guess it fit its style pretty well. I think the whole documentary style of filming is standard for lower budget CG dependant movies since the constantly moving camera can hide of alot of deficincies is fast moving or big effect shots. But the direction was still really good and had some really neat shots in there that showcased some nice scenes. Nothing ever felt to fast or to slow visually, everything was well lit and everything was framed up just right or just not right enough. It certainly didnt have the visual flair of like say Stanley Kubrick in the style of direction but it was still very solid for this kind of movie.

Acting: Again I give 2 thumbs and a boner up much like I did for the directing. Everyone in this movie had their acting chops, no one felt 2 dimensional, no felt forced, no one felt fake, especially the main character I thought were great. Our focal point for the movie was Wikus who went through various personality shifts as the story progressed and the fellow playing him made those shifts just fine. Even the aliens tended to have their own personality traits and they were just fucking CG. But I honestly didnt ever considering someone out of character and they all fit the story very nicely. Usually every movie has one person not as good as the others or you have a character written poorly or just feels plain out of place, not in this film.

Storyline: The story on the surface is pretty simple and borderline cliche but it quickly takes a nose dive into a meaty inner portion where it becomes more interesting and turns into something you werent expecting to see. I guess thats part of the beauty of this movie, A- I didnt know what to expect to begin with, B- about 30 minutes into the movie I thought I knew what it was about but then again it turned into something else. This movie really followed the classic literature standard of being 3 acts. Storywise when it was said and done I could not find another movie to compare this one to, I just hadnt seen anything quite like District 9 before. I guess I was really surprised by how right from the start till the end they never once "had" to explain anything, the entire movie felt like it was all very plauseable and real, nothing needed explanation and was presented in a very matter of fact way. I was thrilled to death to finally see a movie about aliens coming to earth and them not fucking landing in America, paticullary in Washington or New York, Im fucking sick of everything hollywood doing has to involve America and some backdrop showing the American flag galantly flowing off to the side or some shit, there are other places in the fucking world besides the USA. The setting this takes place in a pleasent surprise and certainly suits the movie nicely.

Effects: Well the audio effects were great in the movie. Everything had its own approriate sound and the aliens themselves sounded like you would expect them to, they didnt sound fake or weird at all. Explosions packed a nice punch and the music (what little was there) fit the film nicely and was exactly what music should be to a movie, it was there to enchance the film without being really noticed. The visual effects were fucking great, but you have to understand something, I fucking hate CG effects they rarely ever fucking work for a movie and are very even more rarely are believeable or approriate, Im just a proponent for old school practical effects (especially when it comes to horror). But the effects in this movie were great. They managed to show multiple, tall, details aliens in broad searing daylight and I never once thought "fuck that looks like ass". Everything looked really good, aside from a couple times you could tell it was CG everything looked good and fairly believeable. I was able to suspend my disbelief inspite of CG effects during the entire film and thats a rare feat to accomplish with me.

Overall: This is one of the most unique movies Ive seen made in the past 10 years easily and is easily one of the best movies Ive seen this year yet. If you like story, characterization and good sci-fi then you should like this.

I give it 9 out of 10 stars.

Trailer: http://www.apple.com/trailers/sony_pictures/district9/

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Yahtzee from Zero Punctuation makes my colon hurt from laughter.

2009-08-20T12:15:00.002-04:00

After I did a appreciation comment on the Angry Video Game Nerd I figured Yahtzee derserved some well earned attention also as a highly literate, very entertaining and often hillarious video game reviewer (even if he is a greasey foriegner).

The problem with 99.7% of video game reviewers on the internet is that they are fucking idiots. They somehow manage to get a fanbase and consider themselves the John Holmes of gaming because more than 9 people commented on their video, yeah Im looking at you Nostalgia Critic ya fucking ripoff of James Rolfe only minus style and personality.

So with the thousands of folks who think they are game reviewers just because they have spit out some snarky sarcastic remarks and toss in a couple curses here and there its not easy to find anyone geniunely interesting or that have put more thought into something other than "game sucks and dick knob". But Yahtzee, oh my dear boy you have touched a special place in my dried and shrivled gaming heart with your hillarious dialouge, perfect delivery and actual plotted out thoughts. Yahtzee is almost paroding the game reviewing community by concentrating the usual tripe they do into a comedic dance of the tounge and brain. All the while ripping apart games in a overly sarcastic sense but at the same time actually making valid points about the games problems. At first I didnt enjoy the videos to much till I got used to his speed and style then I found it fucking hillarious and have watched all his videos multiple times.

So my old man hat goes off to Yahtzee.

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/zero-punctuation

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Gargus ponders the universe.

2009-08-17T00:20:00.004-04:00

Yes I realize that mostly my posts on here are full of arcane sarcasm and cursing but even I poses the cranial capacity to escape the shackles of a life marred by banality and think of something other than my small mundane lifes meaningless exsistence.

I found myself laying in the driveway outfront of my place staring at the sky trying to shoe-horn in my head the idea of space possibly being infinite. To truly grasp the term infinite puts quite a squeeze on the brain pan, to actually think that something virtually has no end to it is no easy task, especially when you consider something with no end also has no starting point either.

Then the thought occured to me, perhaps the universe isnt infinite as we suspect it is, perhaps thats only our perception of things due to our actually simple minds and limited technology.

What if perhaps the universe is spherical? Imagine all points in the universe turning back in towards itself. Perhaps it is infinite just because it comes back upon itself and is a never ending cycle. Maybe if we had a powerfull enough device to peer into space that just maybe no matter which direction we looked in we would see ourselves from behind, all light, all matter, all of space in a continious circle always coming back around in on itself, were just to primitive to be able to detect it is all.

Or perhaps were some virus in another beings body, with the universe as a small portion of it. The planets and such to us are just sub atomic particles to it, the smallest parts of what makes it up, just like atoms and molecules are some of the smallest to us. Its all relative really, we could be a illness to something else and were breaking down just one of its cells that we call earth. Centuries to use are mere seconds to it, were so small and insignificant to it that it doesnt know we exsist as intelligent life. Think of what a ant might think of human as it watches us as giants striding across the ground and what it must think, god like almost.

Or perhaps we were purchased by some child and are nothing but sea monkeys. Our universe is nothing but a giant aquarium and we were bought from a novelty ad in the back of a comic book. Water added to our planet to reconstitute our life from our brine shrimp like stasis, perhaps thats where the notion of god came from, the first of us being revivied or created by this being who is no more than a child where he comes from. Again, ants and humans.

Hardware finally fucking comes to dvd.

2009-08-17T00:10:00.002-04:00

Ive been twisting my nipples to make sure Im not dreaming but this long lost and quite under-rated gem is making a return to the public via dvd and blu-ray.

Richard Stanley’s nihilistic feature length cyberpunk post-nuke rock video has been floating around collector circles in bootlegged editions for years, as it is an actual cult classic vs. the usual run of the mill shit that fancies itself a cult classic and has to gonads to call itself such, yes Im looking at you repo genetic opera.

It should be out towards the end of September. I highly reccomend it if your a fan of the genre from back in the day. Now if I could only get Wired to Kill on dvd I would be happy for a short while.

I cant stop laughing.

2009-08-17T00:06:00.004-04:00

If you know what the little yellow creature is then you understand picture.

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My 2 cents movie review: Orphan

2009-08-15T23:10:00.006-04:00

As always, I dont post spoilers in my movie reviews.

Well good evening folks, or whatever time of day you find yourself reading this in. Despite my brains last bit of good sense in a stiffling onslaught of self preservation it told me "Dont fucking see this awful film, its just a cross between the Good Son and The Omen remake only with a girl", but I said back "Dont you tell me what to do and stop saying Id like balls gently bumping my chin when Im trying to go to sleep". Anyway! Here we have the 3rd entry from director Jaume Serra, his previous films having been The House of Wax remake and.........Goal 2: The Living Dream.......yeah were already off to a great fucking start here, its like hiring someone and their resume references are "My little kitten I named titty, toothless joe from the alley behind knobbers strip club and the inventor of dvd case security stickers".

Direction: Honestly, it was pretty rock solid. I found no real flaws in the directing of the movie aside from few minor things I felt could have been shot a little better but all in all it was quite good. It had some nice angles and usage of the camera, the lighting was also nice and it had a couple of unique perspectives. It also seemed like the director was encouraging his actors also as even the smallest of things such a certain one word in the movie that was meant as a joke between 2 characters worked quite well, it was just something youd have to shoot probablly 20 times to get it just right since it all depended on the delivery and immediate reaction by the other person, it was so slight though it really wouldnt have mattered.

Acting: Well, its a horror film so expecting high grade acting is a stretch in most cases. However in this movie the acting was again pretty solid, no one really felt cheap or forced or like they were just waiting for it to end so they could get paid. The little girl especially, Isabelle Fuhrman, she did a really great job in her part. For a twelve year old in a horror flick she was good. I think given a proper chance she has a good acting career infront of her, she is a very pretty (destined to be beautiful woman one day) and talented girl. The rest of the cast did a good job to and overall I was quite happy. I was very pleased to see CCH Pounder in it, even if it was just a small part I do enjoy seeing her. Even the youngest girl Aryana was good in her part. Hmmmm this review is turning out to not be as lively as most of mine.

Storyline: Ah yes the achilies heel of most horror films, it was this movie weakest link as well. Not that it was bad, but up till you find out what really the fuck is going on at the end it all feels very much "Been there, done that". Not that the story is bad because its not, its just mediocre for awhile but is redeemed at the end when you finally see the whole picture as it were.

Effects: Well the visual effects were fine, it had some CG effects but never any that I saw done to the point of being over used or being so blatant that it detracted from the movie. The audio in it was pretty nice. Neither one of those really stood out though, they were good and they were good at their job but thats about the extent of it. I do think it could have stood to have a little more I guess moody is the word Im looking for, music. Some scenes could have been set a little better from the audio department. Or in scenes like outside in the treehouse in the snow fallen woods, a little wind or makybe crackling branches softly would have helped bring home the sense of the cold and the forest.

Overall: I was quite pleased with the movie, it wasnt exactly a double barrell shotgun full of handjobs blasting me point blank like Grindhouse was but I was overall happy with this movie. It was definitely a vast improvement over your standard Dark Castle Pictures movie since most of their films they release are just a greasey shit on the front porch of movie goers. Would I buy it on dvd? Nah, but I did enjoy seeing it in a theater and is worth watching once for sure. I know this was a bland and to the point kinda review but I just dont have anything overly good or bad to say, I enjoyed the movie alot and was into it and when it was done I was satisfied in seeing it, but it doesnt have much replay value.

I give it 7 out of 10 stars.

Trailer: http://www.apple.com/trailers/wb/orphan/

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You know whats a shitload of fuck? The government.

2009-08-10T22:41:00.004-04:00

Politicians are the only people in the world who create problems and then campaign against them.

Have you ever wondered, if both the Democrats and the Republicans are against deficits, WHY do we have deficits? Have you ever wondered, if all the politicians are against inflation and high taxes, WHY do we have inflation and high taxes? You and I don't propose a federal budget, the president does. You and I don't have the Constitutional authority to vote on appropriations, the house of representatives does. You and I don't write the tax code, congress does. You and I don't set fiscal policy, congress does. You and I don't control monetary policy, the federal reserve bank does. We have all these things you constantly see the goverment talk about is bad with our country but they are the only ones who have the power in this country to do anything about it.

One hundred senators, 435 congressmen, one president, and nine Supreme Court justices equates to 545 human beings out of the 300 million are directly, legally, morally, and individually responsible for the domestic problems that plague this country. It seems inconceivable to me that a nation of 300 million can not replace 545 people who stand convicted -- by present facts -- of incompetence and irresponsibility. I can't think of a single domestic problem that is not traceable directly to those 545 people. When you fully grasp the plain truth that 545 people exercise the power of the federal government, then it must follow that what exists is what they want to exist.

If the tax code is unfair, it's because they want it unfair. If the budget is in the red, it's because they want it in the red. If the Army & Marines are in IRAQ , it's because they want them in IRAQ. If they do not receive social security but are on an elite retirement plan not available to the people, it's because they want it that way. There are no insoluble government problems.

Do not let these 545 people shift the blame to bureaucrats, whom they hire and whose jobs they can abolish; to lobbyists, whose gifts and advice they can reject; to regulators, to whom they give the power to regulate and from whom they can take this power. Above all, do not let them con you into the belief that there exists disembodied mystical forces like "the economy," "inflation," or "politics" that prevent them from doing what they take an oath to do. Those 545 people, and they alone, are responsible.

The inheritance tax. Accounts Receivable Tax. Building Permit Tax. CDL license Tax. Cigarette Tax. Corporate Income Tax. Dog License Tax. Excise Taxes. Federal Income Tax. Federal Unemployment Tax (FUTA). Fishing License Tax. Food License Tax. Fuel Permit Tax. Gasoline Tax (currently 44.75 cents per gallon). Gross Receipts Tax. Hunting License Tax. Inheritance Tax. Inventory Tax. IRS Interest Charges IRS Penalties (tax on top of tax). Liquor Tax. Luxury Taxes. Marriage License Tax. Medicare Tax. Personal Property Tax. Property Tax. Real Estate Tax. Service Charge Tax. Social Security Tax. Road Usage Tax. Sales Tax. Recreational Vehicle Tax. School Tax. State Income Tax. State Unemployment Tax (SUTA). Telephone Federal Excise Tax. Telephone Federal Universal Service FeeTax. Telephone Federal, State and Local Surcharge Taxes. Telephone Minimum Usage Surcharge Tax. Telephone Recurring and Non-recurring Charges Tax. Telephone State and Local Tax. Telephone Usage Charge Tax. Utility Taxes. Vehicle License Registration Tax. Vehicle Sales Tax. Watercraft Registration Tax. Well Permit Tax. Workers Compensation Tax. Just to name a few.

Not one of these taxes existed 100 years ago, and our nation was the most prosperous in the world. We had absolutely no national debt, had the largest middle class in the world, and Mom stayed home to raise the kids. What in the hell happened? Can you spell 'politicians?'And I still have to 'press 1' for fucking English?

Basically this country is run by a small handfull of people who wear expensive clothes, ride in limos, are on national television, make shitloads of money, travel the world, have people take care of their day to day stuff for them and basically set up for life. They have no idea how to be a normal citizen, even if they were once an average joe they wont be again.

And yes all of that sucks, but you know what? It will never, ever stop because the people will not stand up to their government. Everyone just wants to sit at home, eat cheeseburgers, play the lottery and watch the evening news and pretend nothing is wrong. People are afraid of sticking their necks out, they are afraid of change even if that change is for the better. People would rather wallow is misery and get fucked up the ass than try to change things as a whole because they are used to things sucking as individuals.

My 2 cents movie review: The Collector

2009-08-06T12:27:00.004-04:00

As always, I dont put spoilers in my reviews.

Well last night I went to see The Collector at the fuck balls AMC theater I despise so much but what was I gonna do? It was the only place around here showing it. So to ease my pain I had a nice dinner before hand at Joes Crabshack and sat outside looking down over the Ohio river stuffing myself with coconut shrimp and drinking way to much beer, luckily in my stupor I only had to drive down the street to the theater. Anywho, this is the first movie directed by Marcus Dunstan who was also a writer of saw 4, 5 and 6 (not something to be real proud of) and all 3 feast movies.

Direction: The direction was surprisingly well done here. I was very surprised it didnt suffer from "sit camera infront of actors, turn on camera, come back later" syndrome most horror movies do today where they basically think as long as you point the camera at the actors your a good director. It had alot of nice sweeping movements, interesting camera angles and the visual pacing wasnt static. And thank you (insert deity of your choice here) that they didnt do that bullshit of where the camera franctically shakes and flies around the screen while they speed up the frame rate of a person running around cause that shit is fucking cheap and damn annoying. At any rate the directing was well done in this, everything from dead guy face down in the water to chic getting felt up on a end table were shot with a little personality to them. Aside from a little over use of color filters at certain times I have no complaints here. I also really liked the fact that it alot of times had this look and feel of some late 70's or early 80's horror film with its color and grain filters.

Acting: Well we were on a high with the directing so now we get the low with the acting. But honestly, this is a horror flick and not a paticullarly cerebral one at that so expecting good acting here is like expecting to fuck a 3 dollar ghetto meth hooker in a abandoned crackhouse with no condom on and think your dick wont look like a cheese pizza when you pull it out. I mean it was decent but nothing noteworthy here good or bad really, everyone played their part out from their script and that was that. Only thing was everytime they were expected to show fear or convey any real emotion was they felt like they were having to try to hard or just obviously faking it. But like I said its a slasher flick for the most part, you dont watch those for peoples acting chops.

Storyline: Basically I could write the storyline on the back of a cocktail napkin. It felt very thin and fraile to me as if you stared to hard at it that it would collapse in on itself like a blackhole becoming extinct. When the credits were done and the lights came on I didnt feel like I knew anything more than when Id gone in aside from some people were killed by a sadistic fuck with a love for traps. And thats where the obvious overtones from writing Saw movies comes in, the whole trap idea felt familliar here because of it, atleast though it didnt feel like it was being repeated or rehashed. But all in all I just wasnt drawn in or anything, it was like the movie The Strangers from not long ago where you basically are just shown a chunk of someones life with no real purpose or base behind it. Unlike The Strangers though this didnt benefit from that, The Strangers drew me in with its lifelike and relatable characters and was presented in a way that you felt both satisfied and unsatisfied at once, that mechanic didnt work as well here. I dont always need to know absolutely every little detail but sometimes it is nice to know something so you dont feel like you paid 9.75 to watch a couple people get killed and thats it.

Effects: Well far as the audio goes I really wish they had done more with it. I really didnt care for the scratchy half assed techno type music that was more or less just noise tossed in here and there, that shit got old along time ago. I really think this movie would have done better with no music and played off more of the music of the country nightlife the house was set in or the sounds of all those old hardwood floors and such to build more tension. All the music here was just background noise and did nothing to set the stage for what was happening onscreen. The visual effects were good though, far as I could tell no CG effects were used, everything looked like practical effects which made me happy as it didnt detract from the movie at all.

Overall: I enjoyed myself, it was visually appealing and entertaining. It wasnt something I would buy on dvd and watch multiple times though, its more of something Ill check out if it comes to like the fearnet channel on cable or something cause once youve seen it, youve seen it. For being the directors first outing it was a good effort but fell flat in the end a little because of the a few minor things that end up being more important than you would think. It was better than some of the summer huge self proclaimed big budget hollywood flicks like Wolverine or Terminator 4 but it lacked personality and detail like Drag Me to Hell or Moon. One thing it certainly wasnt though it claimed it was is a new horror icon killer. It was like jerking off where its good on the build up but a couple missed strokes and the ending isnt what you were hoping for and after its over your glad you did it but wished it was a little more.

I give it 7 out of 10 stars.

Trailer: http://tinyurl.com/lh5fzd

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Now for the incredibly long fucking Megaman timeline.

2009-08-04T23:16:00.003-04:00

Thats definitely a click to enlarge deal and then probablly zoom a couple times after that. I never realized how many fucking Mega Man games there have been since the original. Sorry it doesnt blow up exactly how Id like it to so maybe need to click the screen magnifier in your browser to blow it up some more.

No smart ass remarks or anything fancy this post, just some Mega Man goodness.

Ode to Mr Wizards World tv show.

2009-08-03T18:59:00.006-04:00

Anyone that is a child of the 80's probablly saw Mr Wizard on tv and if they had any internest in science or curious how things worked then they probablly loved this show.

I was recently checking out some shows on aimed at kids on cable and basically everything was shit, no this isnt a pre-old man staged rant about whats wrong with tv today and so on. No this is simply seeing that kids shows today are safe, stupid, watered down and parent friendly so said parents can rest assured their child is being carefully dumbed down with mindless tv with minimal required interaction. Now granted I grew up in the mid 70's to late 80's watching Gi Joe, Transformers, He-Man and other things which arent exactly mind expanding but atleast they varied stories and characters and much like the show Have Gun Will Travel the shows usually had some sort of descrete moral lesson or in the case of Gi Joe it had real life related lessons and what a child should do, which is better than watching Pokemon or Ben 10 where despite my best efforts I cant figure out what the fuck is going on in them and it really makes no sense. I felt my IQ drop sharply just watching them.

So this is where Mr Wizard comes in. I watched his show as a kid in the early 80's and at the ripe old age of about 7 I actually recall learning about thermal dynamics and thermal expansion from that show. 7 years old and I understood that stuff. It was a episode that really stands out in my mind for some reason. He would in a straight forward and entertaining way scientifically explain how something worked and then he would show you what he just described in a experiment to give visual form to what he was saying. Or sometimes he would simply do some neat trick like I learned you can write secret notes with a brush and lemon juice on paper, once it dries you cant see it, but hold that paper over like a toaster or flame and the dried juice turns brown and you can read what was written and then he would explained how it worked chemically.

Starting in the 50's up till the late 80's with my understand is well over 500 episodes teaching kids the magic of science and educating them on things they may not realize like me till later in life. Mr Don Herbert was one of the last great pioneers of childrens tv and to me atleast he will be missed.

So parents (yeah Im talking to you) if you have children or just like to learn yourself I highly encourage you to check out the dvd's of this mans great show. You can order them off the official site linked below.

So dont let your kids turn into fucking potato heads with todays tv, if you cant kick them in the ass enough to get them fuck out of the house and play outside then atleast introduce them to Mr Wizard.

http://www.mrwizardstudios.com/

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My 2 cents review: Moon.

2009-07-28T23:44:00.004-04:00

I post no spoilers in my reviews.

Well after alot of patience I finally got to see Moon. It was out for like 3 days at the god damned AMC theater of all places, but I wanted very much to see this so I swallowed my bad disposistion I hold for them and went to an AMC to see it. This was one of those limited release films so I was fortunate we got it around here at all, it was kind of like how Open Water was only showing in a few places and couple weeks later we got it for very short time around here. This is the only second movie from Duncan Jones and is the first movie of his Ive seen. This is a weird review for me and hard to really put into words what I thought without making this much longer than it should be, so Ill try and just freeze dry it.

Direction: From a directors standpoint this film was very solid, I didnt see anything that I thought could have been done better or anything for the most part really but it lacked any sense of style or unique work on the directors part. It was kind of like a I guess like a stoutly, young Amish wife in terms of direction, yes she is not bad to look at it and works very hard with good child birthing (yeah I cant believe Im using this as an analogy either) hips and will always be there for you but in the end she isnt anything fancy or overly attractive. But perhaps looking back maybe thats exactly what Moon needed, was nothing fancy in terms of direction, it probablly infact benefited from just being a plain jane to help the setting and mood of the movie. I dont have anything good or bad to say here really so lets get the fuck on.

Acting: Well oddly enough the acting much like the directing was solid but nothing thats going to win an award really. Sam Rockwell is a good actor but he seemed to be holding back or unsure in this movie, with that said though there really wasnt a time during the movie he didnt seem not believeable really in his role. I guess he played his part well because again nothing fancy, but he seemed kind of like how a everyday kinda guy would be in his situation. I wont spoil anything but the part Kevin Spacey played was good for him, he had the tone and voice perfect for his character and Ill just leave it at that for risk of giving anything away. Really though 98% of the movie is just those two and no one else.

Storyline: The story is pretty unique for the most part. It borrows just slightly from several other stories and settings but it kind of in the end makes everything its own. But this really is more of a character piece on Sam Bell. Its more of something that leaves alot to the immagination in terms of filling in the blanks, giving you enough to satisfy you for the sake of the movie but also leaves you wondering alot. Really the storyline is very good because it seems like something that could actually happen. Its very subtle in how its told and slow paced, draw out gradually but in the end it doesnt wrap up everything but it leaves you with a sense of conclusion. The outcome and pacing are only for those who truly enjoy science fiction though as the movie is slow going and not action packed, if you enjoyed the silent portions of 2001 space odyssey then you would enjoy this movie.

Effects: My only complaint is with the audio, I really wish they hadnt put in alot of the music they did. I felt it would have been much better off if since it was in space we were left with absolute silence in some parts, giving the film a greater sense of desolation and isolation one would experince and no sounds to comfort you except of machineary. Other than that everything was fine. The visual effects complimented the movie pretty well and at no time did something look overly fake or detract from the movie and pretty much looked how I would expect things to look.

Overall: I say this movie is a very rare movie that actually represents what science fiction is to me, what the original version of the term meant in that it obviously wasnt real and a fantasy tale but at the same time it wasnt that much different than our reality as it is now. The movie overall felt very much like it could be almost real. When I think science fiction I dont think what most movies are that get slapped with that label with monsters, aliens, space ships, explosions and so on, I think of science fiction as a slight perversity of our reality. I very much enjoyed the movie but it left a unique imprint on me thats hard to explain. I dont think I would buy the dvd of it as this is one of those movies that is diminished each time you see it and never as good as the first time.

I give it a 8 out of 10 stars.

Trailer: http://tinyurl.com/c52j6h
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AMC theaters is run by whores.

2009-07-23T23:09:00.006-04:00

And not the good kind of whores, the corporate kind of whores.

This doesnt qualify as a full fledged "You know whats a shitload of fuck?" rant since those I reserve for real things, this is like a mini rant, or rant light or diet rant if you will.

I went to a AMC theater yesterday to see Moon (review coming soon) because it was the only place in like 500 miles showing it. So I go there and the fucking ticket price was 9.75 for a wednesday afternoon showing, used to you got a matinee special price everywhere for movies before like 5 or 6, but now movie started at 4:40 on a weekday afternoon and it cost me almost 10 bucks. Couple dollars more and I could have just bought the fucking dvd when it comes out. They wouldnt even take a student ID discount, told me that was for thursdays only. Granted I havent been a student in a very long time but my ID has no date or expiration so I been using it better part of 8 years at theaters.

So mildly ticked off at the price I go to the theater with nice thoughts in mind of seeing this movie Id been wanting to and forget the price.

So Im in the theater, lights go down, I settle in and what am I greeted with? Fucking commercials, not trailers, god fuck damn commercials. I had to sit through a Coke commercial, a Minute Maid commercial, a Toyota car commercial, a Honda car commercial and a Samsung phone commercial. Almost 10 minutes of fucking commercials, then the trailers come on. I dont mind trailers because Im obviously interested in movies since Im in one and not in a god damn car dealership. So I sit through 7 trailers, 7, thats to damn many (Inglorious bastards one excited me though). So here I am in this place and I am checking my watch, almost 20 minutes of commercials and trailers, then what do I see? More cock sucking commercials, another Coke commercial and a commercial for AMC theaters. Why in the holy fuck shit hell are they showing a commercial about a place your already sitting in and paid to sit in there? Thats like going to a restaraunt, eating and when you pay your bill a tv by your table comes on and shows you a commercial for that restaraunt giving you reasons why you should eat there. Its fucking stupid, I already fucking paid I just want to watch the god damn movie already!

calm blue ocean calm blue ocean calm blue ocea........fuck it doesnt work!

Look if the movie only cost me 2 dollars or was free I wouldnt mind watching commercials because they get paid to show those commercials, like how radio stations are free cause they are paid by commercials, but I already paid them way to much just for a ticket I shouldnt have to watch more shit. But what can I say, if I want to see certain movies that only they are showing then I have to suck it up and go or not see the movie.

Well fuck me sideways, Ive had 1k of hits.

2009-07-22T13:52:00.002-04:00

Checked out the hit counter and I somehow managed to rack up over 1,000 hits. That means there are actually 1,000 people reading at my uncouth ramblings on here, I know Im as shocked as you are. I just may have to start posting more as I was getting tired of posting stuff and going by the hit counter assumed only few folks that had been here were due to a wrong link click.

My 2 cents review: Drag me to hell.

2009-07-21T16:33:00.005-04:00

Yeah I know Im really late on getting this one but I just havent had the desire to post much on here considering the very low view rate my blog gets, it doesnt make me feel like posting much when not many check it out and I get 0% comments or anything. Hell Ive got like 4 other movies Ive seen I hadnt done since my last which was Star Trek I think.

Anyway, enough of that shit. This is Sam Raimi's supposed return to horror. Sam is best known for his Evil Dead trilogy and Spiderman trilogy but I also liked the first Darkman movie as well. I welcomed this from him since personally I miss his take on other things besides fucking Spiderman.

Directing: Well as usual this does carry a very Sam'ish style to it, especially during action sequences because he is a very kinetic director and it applies here to. When something is going on there is alot of things in motion both physically and audio wise to, he does have a unique style to his action that I cant quite nail down. All in all it was top notch for this movie, he always showed us just the right amount and such in the hankerchief scene he even got me as I was busy watching one thing while the other was sitting right infront of me revealing itself to me at the perfect time and creeping me out a little which is no small feat. His movies from a camera standpoint are usually good and this is no exception, he balanced both being very sly at showing us things building tension and other times in almost comedic performances he is just very stark and in your face about what he shows.

Acting: Well ace acting and horror movies on the whole are not common roomates to eachother, seldomly even living in the same building really. Personally I thought the woman who played the gypsy was great in her part, she did a very good job in it and Id swear she was the pot boiling witch from Army of Darkness but I havent confirmed it. The main character did a decent job to, I liked her because she could actually some and not some fucking deadpan actor relying strictly on her looks and popullarity like fucking megan fox. Our main girl Alison Lohman in this film was pretty but she wasnt famous or what hollywood says is beautiful, she was more like a real girl instead of a fake girl and that helped you relate to her much more. Her boyfriend Justin Long acts exactly the same as he does in everyother film, which means barely. I had to keep from laughing watching him try to act like he was from a blueblood family and a professor, it was ridiculous to the point of distracting sometimes., his mom in the movie on the other hand did a great job because I hated that fucking dity cunts attitude and you were supposed to. In the end its a horror movie so no acting awards handed out here, it was good enough though and certainly not your average low grade acting.

Storyline: The story was pretty if nothing else cliched for a horror movie. Witch/gypsy, curse, girl tries to get uncursed, blah blah. Ive seen it before but its actually well done in this movie because the story evolves and grows as the movie goes, the entire story isnt told in the first 15 minutes like most and thats it, atleast in here you learn and see new things as it goes along. It also has this very charming fairy tale type of motiff to it, like your reading some nursery rhyme where things are much darker than they appear to be at first glance.

Effects: Well much like I was afraid of with Sam getting used to so many god damn CG shots and effects in the Spiderman trilogy movies he overdid the CG stuff here a little to much. You cant fool me with CG effects as they dont look natural and detract from movies especially horror as it doesnt allow you to suspend your disbelief to forget your watching a movie, or its hard to really feel for a character as CG blood squirts unnaturally out of them cause you can obviously see its fake. With that said for the most part the effects in here were fairly well done and nothing really hurt the movie to bad, but I would have preferred practical effects for more of the movie. The audio was really awesome in this to, as I went to a theater with a great sound system it really added to the movie. When he wanted he could make the audio really give what was happening visually have a bigger impact on you with a sound effect or the nicely done music.

Overall: Well, overall this the best horror film I have seen this year so far. Dont let the pg-13 rating fool you, despite alot of gore, cursing and nudity to make it rated R this is a very well done horror movie. I was a little unsure but I was pleasently surprised to say the least. I left the theater happy and saying to myself "That was pretty damn good". I was very pleased at Sam's ending also, it put a smile on my face to see someone show some balls and put a final stamp on a ending instead of the usual empty, leaving room for a sequel pussy shit. I just might buy this on dvd when it comes out I enjoyed it enough.

I give it 8 out 10 stars.

Trailer: http://tinyurl.com/dysp3x
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Atari 2600, ahhhhh memories.

2009-07-03T21:02:00.004-04:00

I was trying to come up with a funny tagline but I just cant make it work. So anywho, found this little site today.

http://www.2600online.com/

All you need is Java installed and you can relieve some gaming memories right in your browser.

You know whats a shitload of fuck? Gay pride month.

2009-06-24T20:19:00.006-04:00

Yeah its time for me rant again. This time its gay pride month instigated by me reading about the world of warcraft gay pride parade.

Look if your gay, lesbian, bi sexual or like to put strapon dildos on cabbage patch kids and fuck it then I dont care. You be what you are and thats fine with me, but its stupid activist bullshit like this that brings my piss to a boil.

Asking a friend of mine who has never even so much as kissed a girl what he thinks gay pride month is. He told me basically its to make their presence known, to show they are proud to be gay and that they are equal with everyone else just different sexual orientation. And then he quickly remarked he agrees with my view of this whole debacle.

Again, if your gay thats fine, but as soon as you start doing parades, have your own day or month, putting rainbow bumper stickers on your car and telling everyone your gay then your not acting like you want to be considered equal and just as another person. Your acting like a faggot thats trying to get attention and act special. No one should act gay or run around making sure everyone with a 100 foot radius knows your gay, try acting just like a human being instead of something else.

People who have to make sure everyone knows they are gay will always be by large disliked, and its mostly not because they are gay but because they are so fucking annoying, yeah your gay we get it now shut the fuck up. Imagine working in a office with that one person we all know that has to constantly remind everyone of how fucking great they are compared to everyone and just cant get over themselves, thats what gay pride/activist people are to everyone else who isnt gay is that annoying person at work who wont shutup.

You dont see me running around on the fictional "straight man pride month" making sure everyone knows I like women. I dont feel the need to project my sexual preferences on others because Im cool with it and I realize its my own fucking business.

It always seemed to me Ive noticed that people who feel the need to announce their sexual preference, skin color, nationality or whatever either do it just so they get attention and get some weird sense of self satisfaction as if to say "Well! I certainly told you didnt I?!" or they are either so uncomfortable with it that they feel forced to announce it over and over again somehow hoping that if they do it enough they will somehow be vindicated and feel fine.

So instead of acting gay and showing your gay why not try and act like a human fucking being by acting like one. If you dont want to be "labeled gay" then dont trounce around acting like one just to be different, if you want to be known for being different then try to be different by being really good at something, or a nice person, or learning to ride a unicycle while balancing a chainsaw on your tounge and patting your tummy and head at the same time.

You will never, ever be considered a equal person till you act like you want to be a equal person. The majority will not accept you completely till you just act like a person.

Just like to me there is a difference between black people and niggers, there is a difference between gay people and faggots. Faggots are the ones who use their gayness as a excuse constantly, have to act like faggots all the time and have to make sure they tell everyone their faggots. I have no respect for people who act like a stereotype. And thats all gay pride stuff does is perpetuate the gay stereotype because although most gays dont mean to but it reflects that you think your special and better than non gays because your not acting like your just one of the gang. And to be honest, aside from folks like me that it ticks off no one gives a shit but you.

And Im sorry your not a special, gifted, uniuqe, snowflake because your gay. Your the same fucking bag of human being meat that I am, the prime minister of canada is and the guy who runs the fry machine at mcdonalds. Your not even different because your gay, there are millions of gay folks, so unless you exterminate everyother gay person on the planet so your the only one left your not different. Your just a person is all, so act like it.

Its not even gay pride month alone that pisses me off, its this whole mentality of this society that we dice ourselves up into little divisions and make sure we are seperated by groups and titles. No one wants to be just a person with a name, they want to be known by all by their name, heritage, families country of origin, ethnic class, shoe size, sexual orientation, sexuality, blood type, gender, and so on. When did it become so bad just to be a human being? Do we really have to feel like were part of some little nitch group so we get to feel special cause were in our little secret clubs with handshakes and fucking decoder rings? Our society needs a gigantic fuckoff enema shoved up its proverbial shit chute and flush all this stupid politically correct shit right out so we can all be clean, happy people again instead of a bunch of dickheadish morons trying to fit into our little clicks of others acting like were something were not when all we are is a bunch of people living on a big fucking blue sphere.

My 2 cents movie review: X-Men Origins Wolverine

2009-05-24T00:45:00.005-04:00

Per my usual rule, no spoilers in my review.

Allright. Were getting down to brass tacks on this one ladies and germs. I just have no tolerance for a good review on this movie after seeing it and all its gonna get from me is a quick and dirty without even the deceny for a reach around. Gavin hood directed it and it was fucking awful. You would have to work harder than a triple cunted hooker at a naval base when the entire fucking royal fleet is getting dry docked in singapore to make this any worse than it was.

Direction: Well, it fucking sucked. I saw a independant film at a horror convention once called "Cock Hammer" and its directing was about as on par for quality as this was. The entire thing was basically "point camera at actors, turn on camera, turn off camera when done" and thats it. Well they did throw in a few long pullbacks shots during a supposedly dramatic scene I think and the end would have been shot from a helicopter had it not bee shot in a fucking studio infront of a god fuck damned green screen.

Storyline: They basically took the mini series Origins which was the telling of Wolverine and how he was as a boy, the birth of his mutant abilities, his parents, his first love, how he learned to become such an animal at heart and how he lost his geniune child innocence. They took that and condensed it down into about 96 seconds of film and took off with the rest of their bullshit parade. The story if you want to call it that was a torrent of diarhea free flowing from a three toed sloths ass. It had a couple actually good ideas in there but they just got buried by all the bad ones. All in all the very most basic plot of the movie wasnt to bad and could have been good but it was just used and abused so much that it didnt matter in the end, whatever first draft version of the script was damaged goods when it was over. Oh and evidently in this prequel a shitload of people met eachother but have no reccolection of said meeting when the first movie was made.

Acting: The acting is non-exsistent, it was nailed into a box and thrown over a cliff along with all the practical effects equipment. So instead Ill just talk about the characters some. Well they had Wolvie of course which was played just as well as anyother time Jackman has done him, he makes a good wolverine Ill give him that. The rest of the characters were either awful or just felt very uncomfortable. Sabertooth, he was ok, Liev Schriber who played him is actually a good actor and he did a fine job the problem was his character was written very poorly. The other big name from the X-Men was Gambit, he was a fucking joke to be honest. They had him flipping CG cards over his head which wasnt as laughable as his attempt at being a suave cajun, it was painfull to watch him try and fake that accent. But again, the character was written poorly. One of the worst was the Blob, they made him the poor bastard unlucky enough to be the movies comic relief so they kids can laugh when he farts, he was basically a really badly done version of a fatsuit from one of Eddie Murphys horrible Flubber movies. Anyway, the chacters fucking sucked. Next!

Effects: Oh fuck the effects! Man they were awful. It was your basic crap infront of green screen and they used so many CG effects it make the actual real part of the film look cheap. The entire thing felt very fake and very poorly concieved. I really did hate all the damned computer effects, they detracted from the film a great deal, especially at the reactor in the end and even worse when last guy shows up to help the escape'es. He looked like a cheap sci-fi channel CG alien or something.

Overall: It fucking sucked (Ive said that alot but its hard for me to come up good analogies when I hated this movie so much). You know how I know when a movie fucking sucked? When I have checked my watch multiple times during the movie to see what time it was and my mind was wandering occasionally to other things I needed to do when I got home. I did the same things during Superman Returns and Ghost Rider and we see how those movies went also. Dont see it, dont rent it, dont buy the dvd or anything else. Its purely just a hollywoodized summer blockbuster, brainless/mindless, safe and aimed strictly at the movie goers who sit eyes glued to the screen and shovel popcorn in their faces the whole time and think the Transformers movie was actually good. Yes Ive heard people say that this is a good movie for a comic book movie, but its only that good if youve set your fucking expectations so low a contortionist limbo dancer's clit piercing would hit the limbo bar while going under it. I would assume just nail my dick to a burning barn than watch this again, The End!

I give it a 2 out of 10 stars.

Trailer: http://www.apple.com/trailers/fox/wolverine/ I wouldnt bother though because the trailer makes it look serviceable. But after youve seen the movie and seen what a liar the trailer is youll come to figure out the trailer was like a nice pretty Cadburys Creme Egg someone gave you but when you take a bite you notice they have removed the cremey sweet center and replaced it with Branston Pickle, then you throw up.

Terminator 2 confusion.

2009-05-22T18:49:00.003-04:00

So Terminator Salvation comes out this week and that got me in the mood to re-watch Terminator 1 and 2 (I disregard 3 and will probablly 4). So Im watching it and I cant help but wonder this and before you ask, yes I am that bored right now.

As explained in part 1 only living tissue can be transported, ok fair enough that explains why the terminator was a cyborg since the flesh covering of ahnold made him able to be ported and why both the terminator and kyle showed up ass naked. Again terminator 2 both terminators show up dicks swinging free but the t-1000 is not covered in flesh, he is fucking 100% pure liquid metal so how the hell did he make it through?

Bionic Commando Lunchbox promo swag review

2009-05-21T20:55:00.005-04:00

Well today I got my Bionic Commando swag (that means Shit. We. All. Get) that you got for pre-ordering from gamecrazy. This one probablly be as long as my other swag reviews because well......its a fucking lunchbox. No more, no less.

This I will admit is one of the cooler swag items Ive gotten in the past few years. Yeah I got the fallout 3 lunchbox and such but this is really nifty just because they mocked it up after the old school nes Bionic Commando which is near and dear to my heart from the nes library. It features the cover from the original game with some artwork on the back made up like a screenshot from the game when you would access a computer in a level to get information and the entire edge is bordered with graphics from a level from the game and shows Ladd doing various things in each screen. The coloring and design is really sweet and obviously a labor of love from someone. It feels empty but Im not going to take off the shrink wrap since it doesnt impare the viewing of at all.

At any rate, lunchboxes are starting to become a fad almost and getting little boring but this is still a really cool item and something I proudly display.

Some of my favorite movie posters ever.

2009-05-20T00:31:00.004-04:00

Movie poster art is a thing of the past. Its rare today we get anything that actually tells you about the movie or gives you some sense of what its about. Comedies are all just the main cast standing in supposedly ammusing poses, horror movies are just some bland half hidden picture that looks sterile and generic, kids movies are usually one color with either one character or a symbol on it and thats it or action movies are the hero photoshopped up and put infront of something burning or just standing looking away like they are so cool they are bored.

So Ill take you on a short trip into what I consider to be some of the best posters in movie history. I chose them on just the sheer artistic talent, mood/tone, striking and memorable images or just plain cool. But all these posters I recalled quite easily as a child and adult that really stuck with me for one reason or another.

Click to enlarge any poster.

Musical thoughts: Tool

2009-05-20T00:00:00.004-04:00

I constantly get asked "Hey whats your favorite band"? Thats a hard fucking question considering I like stuff from the 1930's like Sons of the pioneer, jazz/blues, classic rock soul sounds of the 70s, metal in all its forms, rap like run dmc not that new shit and everything in between. So people are asking me to pick just one band across a 80 year gap, thats a tall order.

After alot of though I would have to say its Tool. They are the only band to have music that even my least favorite songs I like, I feel well rewarded for buying their music as I can listen to every album and not dislike one song. Now Tool is unique in that upon hearing them for first 3 or 4 times you may like it but you dont hear it, you have to become accustomed to the song and then you start hearing everything seperate and the real beauty of their music really comes out.

Tool is a band whose music is pretty hard to label. They've been called everything from metal, to numetal, to alternative and progressive rock/metal. While they exhibit attributes to all of the aforementioned genres, it's pretty safe to say that they've created a kind of music that's timeless, transcendent, deep, mysterious, forbidding and intriguing - all at once. To me, their name sums up the music they make perfectly - a "tool" for exploring the mysterious depths of the human psyche. The music usually explores darker themes like pain, anger, frustration and guilt, then regurgitates them into a volatile, yet beautiful and alluring catharsis.

How do I describe Tool's music? I'd say they have the dark aura and minimalist experimentalism of King Crimson, the philosophical bent of Rush and the hypnotic, alluring quality of Pink Floyd - without really sounding like either of those bands. They possess their own distinctive sound. What also makes them stand above the others is they never re-tread ground, no 2 albums sound the same. While its obviously the same group with the same tone they evolve each album into something else slightly different but equally good. They are constantly in motion. You also will not find catchy jingles or with a easily digestable marketability like you will find on the radio or mtv (that is when they actually fucking play music that is). Their lyrics are also sometime maddening in that 1,000 people could each come up with their own version of what they mean at times or just scratch their heads totally confused as they most have sense of being pulled from a diary of poetry written by a person driven insane by hallucinogenic drugs. All the while being perfectly formed for each song, the lyrics taken out of context of the songs they are in hold no power and make no sense, but seem to form to the song and become part of it.

If you will sit and listen to these songs, and I mean listen where your relaxed and undisturbed you will find your self hearing the amazing and beautiful guitar work, Maynards hauntingly ranged voice that reminds me of early pink floyd, the stern and great bass work as well some of the most precise and perfected drum work youll ever hear.

Tool is not for everyone, but if you can open your mind and willing to experince something then youll find eventually their songs have like multiple songs within each one.

Granted their earliest album Opiate is more of a rock/punk style but it still has their charm in it, I would label it as my least favorite cd of theirs but with each album they do progress and grow becoming more and more detailed, practiced, perfected and excentrict. Aenima has a darker tone to it. Undertow seems to be more personal and thought provoking. While Parabola and 10,000 days seem to work more into a almost experimental and a feel of almost existentialism that reaches beyond normal music.

Some reccomendations (all though all of their stuff is good).

1- Ten thousand days
2- Jambi
3- Reflection
4- Rosetta stoned
5- Sober
6- The patient
7- Stink fist
8- 4 degrees

My 2 cents review: Star Trek (2009)

2009-05-13T16:57:00.003-04:00

Well this is a reboot for the long running star trek series and is directed by JJ abrahams who up till now only really directed a couple episodes from tv shows and mission impossible 3 so we know what to expect. Any comparrisons I make in this will be directed towards the original series since its what this is modeled after. So after a severly declining movie franchise, the undeniable decreasing quality of all the series can this movie reinvigorate the franchise? Well folks, Im gonna let you know.

Directing: Well I might as well just jump right in and say it was mediocre at best. It was nothing special really and pretty much standard fare for this type of movie. It wasnt horrible but it wasnt great. He tried to spice it up by using spinning shots or inverting the camera slowly during long shots of outerspace but it wasnt enough. From a camera standpoint it was very solid for a film student, it did have a couple interesting angles though but on the whole nothing worth talking about in great detail. Only real complaint is alot of action sequences were shot to close up, Im assuming to try and disguise the poor fighting skills of the actors much like what happened in the majority of fight scenes in batman begins. From the directors standpoint this movie was handled exactly like a big budget, special effects laden, cliche, hollywood action movie.

Acting: Im pretty sure that when they casting for this movie the criteria read something like "If you looking like character X and sound like character X then your hired" because all the characters looked like younger versions of the original cast and at times sounded like them but thats where it ended really. Just because you look and sound like spock doesnt mean you can play the part well or even be good at it. The acting overall was very hammy and over the top. They took what made the original characters unique and ramped those qualities up by 100%, like one scene shows spock talking about time travel and out of the blue with no warning bones yells "Damnit spock Im a doctor not a physicist!" and it really just seemed out of place and forced, the whole movie was like that. Or kirk in the series was a ladies man but he never had to hit on them, he was just the cool guy women wanted but in the movie kirk is making noises and comments at every woman he walks past like some horned up teenager with no self control, and every character was like that, they shoe horned into a forced amount of that characters traits and made them feel fake. Ive seen worse acting but this was just awfull and it was mostly because of how they were written and the fact that actual acting didnt seem to matter as long as you looked and sounded like your character. Oddly enough eric bana was the best actor in here and he cant really act worth a shit.

Storyline: Basically, there was none. Really the story could have been (and probablly was) written late one night at a bar on the back of a cocktail napkin. The story unlike the original series had no thought to it at all and no cerebral satisfaction. You never once had to think about what was going on, it had no theme and was just safe, stupid, cliche, brainless and easily consumned by the viewing masses. It was definitely a no brain required film. Those movies have their places but star trek was always based on these really cool and unique stories that made you consider the overall theme or plot point. None of that was here though, it was purely a excuse for fights and special effects. Im just jaded by this because I always like star trek originally because it had real stories to them, cheesey as some were they were still unique and good. This was a film that appealed to the lowest common demnminator so they dont have to stop and think about something and intterupt their shovling of popcorn in their mouths. It also felt like chunks of it were missing, all the sudden uhura starts kissing allover spock twice for no real reason and Im like "They just met and she is making out with him? What the fuck did I fall alseep and miss something?" the pacing and flow of the story felt really hurried and jumbled like they tried to shove to much into 2 hours. And the little things really made me roll my eyes, like they are in a earth bar and they tried to jam in current real things into the movie like this woman says to the bartender "Ill have a budweiser classic" and I groaned, or kid kirk 3000 years in the future is driving a corvette he stole while listening to the beastie boy on the radio......who the fuck decided shit like this was a good idea? Even kirks motorcycle was just a motorcycle with some led lights slapped on it.

Effects: Well for a movie like this they have be commented on. Its your standard CG fest of computer effects and barely a hint prosthetics. I mean the effects were really well done and not to often looked really fake, although anytime you do alot of CG effects it never really feels real. But really its space, it has ships and explosions. Everything, especially the action scenes were so effects laiden that I could never suspend disbelief long enough to be excited by them. When you overuse CG effects yeah they make look pretty but it removes you from the movie and detracts from you getting into it.

Overall: Really, I enjoyed seeing it once but I wont ever buy the dvd or go out of my way to watch it again. Its to cliched and boring, its purely a hollywoodized brainless action movie and nothing more. Really this movie is like a M&M with everything that makes star trek star trek is the candy coating but once you get past it the rest isnt star trek at all, the movie is thinly veiled in some sound effects, uniforms, title and character profiles of the original star trek. Take those away and its not a trek movie at all. When you see this check your brain at the door and just watch it and youll be ok.

I give it 5 out 10 stars.

Trailer: http://tinyurl.com/2lg6br

May 2nd is free comic book day.

2009-04-17T16:45:00.002-04:00

Dont forget ladies and germs, May 2nd is the day you can go to your local comic shop and get a assortment of comic books for free, some being exclusives.

http://www.freecomicbookday.com/

Diamond comics ships comic books specifically free to comic shops to give out for free and help drive sales and gain new interest and what not. So get some free shit (had to wedge atleast one curse word in).

Left 4 head Bow-Chika-WTF

2009-04-11T12:08:00.005-04:00

Yeah so I finally got bored enough I thought I would track down this video. Its basically a really low budget, cheap ass parody porn flick based off the kick ass game Left 4 Dead.

Basically its about zoey who is looking for louis, thats the entire story right there. So a smoker tentacle rapes her mouth then a hunter plays with her ass and in the most unexciting scene Ive ever seen she blows him for like 6 minutes and its over. So really if you want a boner, dont watch this. Seriously browsing a sears cataloug for womens bra's is more of a turn on. Its not even entertaining on a funny level. The chic who is zoey is actually attractive but looses points for having fake tits.

Personally I didnt expect much cause really how you can actually make a porn when the guy is crawling around with a rubber mask on pretending to be a infected monster while groping her and she pretends to fend him off. The only thing that could turn me off more is maybe being shot at by naked incestious grandmothers in the middle of a blizzard while listening to yoko ono.

Im debating on whether I want to waste my time with the sequel "left 4 anal" but if I do Ill be back.

Oh and by the way, Left 4 Dead the game http://www.l4d.com/ really is a awesome game and well worth every penny, especially if you dig zombies like I do. And since it runs on the source engine from Valve it can run on really any pc and still look fantastic and honestly the pc version is the way to go if you pick it up. So if you havent gotten it then trust me its worth it and Valve is even releasing a content pack this month for it for free.

The AVGN (Angry Video Game Nerd) salute.

2009-04-08T13:49:00.009-04:00

Well Im sure probablly 100% of anyone who bothers to read this blog (which isnt many) already know "The Nerd" but for those of you who might not then this is for you.

When he first started out I didnt find him very interesting really. Just a bunch of bitching and cursing. But after awhile he gained a sort of sense of style and started to actually turn alot of his reviews into like mini movies with special effects, other actors on occasion and a wider, more diverse sense of pure unadulterated potty mouthness while becoming much more entertaining. His comedic factor has also vastly improved with his use of words and performances that are a great mix of low brow shit jokes and more of satire pieces somehow transformed into something I find hillarious, which is compliment really cause for the most part shit/fart jokes and stuff like that I find dull and utterly boring.

Some of my personal favorite nerd episodes would be: Friday the 13th (2006), Bugs bunny birthday blowout (2007), Nintendo power (2007), Festers quest (2007), Battletoads (2008) and The wizard (2008).

I also started watching the mini reviews he does for movies which really showed me this is a nerd who loves and appreciates film. They are much more toned down from the video game nerd vidoes but alot more insightfull. He comes across them as a real fan and student of celulloid. Even surprised me with a few movies I hadnt even heard of in his top 10 car chase movies.

http://www.cinemassacre.com/

So check out the site (yeah interface is discombobulated but no biggie) and watch the shit laiden and curse spewing hillarity that is the nerd. If you ever wondered (and Im sure less than 0% of you have) what is Gargus like? Then here is a close represenation

Where does Gargus do his gaming?

2009-04-07T20:36:00.003-04:00

Im sure your all just dying to know where exactly I do my gaming at so I took the liberty of grabbing a few pics for shitz-n-gigglez (patent pending).

Here is my pc desk where I bring you all my blog postings no one seems to give a shit about hehe. Monitor on the right is on this pc my second machine where I do all my surfing, coding, store and watch mp3's, watch videos or other nefarious activities. Monitor in the middle runs to my game rig, I kind wish it would die at times so I can buy a new 22incher, Ive had that 21inch for about 4 years it works great though. Both my pc's I built myself and sit off frame to the right. Then far left is just a samsung lcd sitting on my cable box and my dvd player is center bottom and have 3 sets of speakers hehe. There have been nights I watched the legend of ricky oh on dvd, played world of warcraft and worked on a piece of software at once while chatting with people on and off on yahoo messenger.

Here is the tv upstairs where I do my console gaming. Got the ps3, wii, 360 and snes hooked up on it now. I switch out the snes for nes or genesis on occasion since I have extra's of them in the closet with no box. My other 30 or so systems I keep boxed up due to not enough fucking room to display them all with their games. Its just a 32inch samsung lcd and couple logitech 2.1 speakers spliced to a dual rca for stereo in the back of the tv, not much but it works fine for what I can manage. Would like surround though one day for gaming.

So todays lesson is kids when you spend to much of your life as a lone wolf like me you end up with a large accumulation of something because you dont know how to meet people or get close to a woman. So do yourself a favor, dont be like Gargus! Learn how to trust (just not to much) and find a girl (or guy if your a woman or gay) and find that happiness I cant find.

Street Fighter 4 Mad Catz fightpad controller ps3 review

2009-04-02T15:31:00.002-04:00

Well I finally got my hands on one these and thought Id put up a quick review of the controller since they arent easy to find and help you figure out if this is worth your money. I say got one of these finally but this is my second one, the first one I got wouldnt work since it wouldnt stay connected. But rare as these fuckers are I couldnt find one till friend of mine called from a store saying he saw one and asked if I wanted him to snag it for me since it was the last one. Although i really wish I could have gotten the akuma pad since it looks sweet, but you take what you can get.

The ps3 version is not wired like its 360 counterpart and comes with a usb thumb drive sized reciever that blinks red and remains lit when you are connected to it and requires 2 AA batteries. Its 2.4ghz and has a range of about 20 feet.

In short it works great for fighting games. The layout of the buttons is great since across the top you have all 3 punches and lower row is all kicks with 2 shoulder buttons. Its layed out like a arcade style cabinet making it very nice for playing. The buttons have a nice springy feel to them and require just a push and not like smashed. The 4way pad is sitting on a post so it rolls making it easy for like 3/4 circle movements for special moves. Has basic start/select buttons. A button in the center to connect to the reciever after you turn it on. It has a on and off button to save battery life and another switch where you can tell the controller to switch between which analog stick you want the 4way to be controlling since it only has one. The bottom has a nice light rubber coating also to keep it from slipping to much.

All in all it works like a dream and feels really nice. I experimented with soul calibur 4 and street fighter 4 and had no issues at all. It will also work on your pc, I plugged the reciever into the usb port and my pc knew exactly what it was (I use windows xp home sp3) and I tried it inside my NES emulator and played sweet home just fine after some button configuring. It does not however work on the ps3 when running ps2 games, my dream was to play marvel vs capcom 2 but alas when the ps2 games started the lights went off and controller went dead. So not only do you get a controller for ps3 fighting games but a controller for your pc also, a cool unexpected bonus.

Is it worth 39 bucks? Yeah if you love fighting games but hate using standard controllers. Its like a fight stick in your hands. Is it worth the 80+ dollars assholes are charging on ebay and amazon due to limited supply? Fuck no. The fucking controller better be able to suck my cock and do my taxes to spend that much on a controller.

I snapped (clicked I guess since I havent used my 35mm nikon in years) some pics. Click to enlarge.

You feeling lucky punk?

2009-04-02T14:35:00.004-04:00

If you are then come on, fight me!

http://gargus.mybrute.com/

Update: WOOt Im level 2, that means someone finally challenged me and lost.

Resident evil 5 Collectors Edition swag review (with snowglobe and laser cel)

2009-03-21T19:22:00.006-04:00

Much like my Street Fighter 4 CE swag review I am not reviewing the game itself but the swag (Shit We All Get) and determine whether or not its worth the price or how cool it is. Its been a Resident Evil week here waiting for this thing to come. I watched both movies, watched the retrospective (which I spoke of and linked on here as well), played part 4 through, watched my weskers report bonus dvd, watched biohazard 4d executer, watched my RE4 bonus pre order disc and read Resident evil fire and ice 1-4 comic series while waiting for this to arrive (it came thursday but Im slacking).

Anyway Ill get to the fucking stuff already for you impatient people. Just the normal collectors edition itself comes with a oversized CE box, the game and a bonus feature dvd in a steelbook game case, a figure of chris redfield, a necklace, a totebag and a bsaa iron patch. Now if you pre ordered the game from gamecrazy then you got a snowglobe from them and a laser cel if you pre-ordered from lamestop (of which I have both). Pics below, just click to enlarge.

Well, the official Capcom bonus material inside the box is pure shit. And not only is it pure shit, its 90 fucking dollars or pure shit. 89.99 is what this thing retails for, even for a collectors edition thats 10 dollars more than normal and the stuff in it is pathetic for that price. Ok the steelbook game case is kind of cool and the figure isnt to bad but fuck its small, its 3/4 the size of a normal gi joe figure. The totebag is flimsy, cheap and ugly, I mean I know tricell probablly is the new umbrella in here but when I think resident evil I dont think tricell, why couldnt it just have said resident on the side? Its got enough room for a box of tissues and thats about it. The iron on patch is just as uncool as scabies, again should have just put resident evil on it. The necklace is fucking stupid and tiny, collectors edition or not Im not wearing a tiny cheap ass necklace made of pewter thats shaped like africa on a plastic string. The box sucks because like the SF4 CE box its flimsy and could be crushed or mashed quite easily, even when all the stuff is inside, it lacks support and is just thin folded cardboard. I cant comment on the bonus dvd since I wont watch it till I beat the game. All in all capcom really dropped the fucking ball on this one and overpriced a turd that they didnt even polish. I dont get it, the street fighter 4 collectors edition from capcom was actually kind of cool with a couple neat things and it cost 10 dollars less?! The only and only reason I even got the collectors edition is because I found a website with a pre-order price of 78.99 and free shipping, so I knew it was gonna be shit and refused 90 bucks, but 79? Yeah what the hell.

Now, the snowglobe that I got from gamecrazy. Yeah the people in it are kind of ugly looking but its still kind of cool. Its alot bigger than I thought and instead of snow its got sand in it. Its not the prettiest thing around but its kind of neat to see something different done. Sorry pics didnt turn out real well but was hard to shoot a round reflective object with a cheap camera. I actually got ahold of this because I asked a friend of mine to pre-order his there and I would pay him for the globe and he gave it to me for free which was cool of him.

Then you got the laser cel from lamestop, yeah its the generic pic of chris and the black chic with a 5 on the bottom and its not much bigger than 5x7 so good job on the cheap piece of shit lamestop. I got this for like 4 bucks (yeah thats after shipping) on ebay since I refuse to ever go into lamestop stores ever again.

So is this worth paying 90 bucks for? Fuck no. Id rather shave my nuts with a cheese grater than pay 90 bucks for this hunk of embarassment capcom released, unless I like the humilliation of walking around with my bsaa patch on my jacket sporting my cool tricell totebag and wearing my african pewter necklace. Personally this is really only worth 10 bucks over normal price at best, and Im assuming this based on the assumption the bonus dvd will be cool (but I doubt it). The lamestop laser cell is crap. The snowglobe is ugly yes but atleast its well made and different.

My 2 cents review: Watchmen

2009-03-21T16:38:00.004-04:00

I dont put spoilers in my reviews.

Well this is a movie directed by Zack Snyder, the man behind 300 and Dawn of the dead remake. It's much like 300 a movie based off a comic book that was originally written by Alan Moore. Now Ill say this, yeah its superheroes but its not meant for kids and honestly alot of people wont get it for what it really is. Watchmen originally was more of social and political commentary only with super powers. Its set in a 1980's era alternate reality, so overtones of hatred for the russians and post cold war era still are around. So aside from actual content alot of younger people may not appreciate it as much as say me since I grew up in those days and vaugely remember when the Russians were our enemies.

Directing: Well like his other movies Snyder did some very solid directing and his use of camera like always isnt unique or like really cool but he is very good at capturing a shot well. His use of camera work here is well done but nothing more than just standard. I did like his lighting alot and use of colors especially. Some of the shots and angles were directly from the comic but its not like sin city where so much is shot by panel from the comic. This is coming from other visual source material so to stay faithfull you cant just make it to different.

Acting: Well, for the most part it sucked more or less. I could get into very few characters and alot seemed to be hamming it up. Even the guy playing nixon did a good impression of him but just didnt remind me of him. Most of the main cast just spoke their way through their dialouge, a good actor even if they are supposed to be calm and cool can still sing their dialouge where it comes natural. It all just felt well rehearsed to the point of bordem. With that said I felt the guy who played the comedian and roarschack did great jobs, I loved both those guys in the movie and were the highlight for me. I thought they were about the only ones into their parts. And some like the woman who played silk spectre I thought she did good enough but I dont think she was getting pushed enough with her character.

Storyline: Well the original material was a masterpiece of its time and still is really. And I was glad to see this get made as it is different than your standard happy, safe, stupid and family friendly superhero movies. The political satire was also a nice change of pace getting away from all the fucking iraqi/terrorist bullshit thats been in every god damn thing for past 10 years, that shit is boring and worn out as WW2. My only problem is that chunks of the comic are missing here and that needed to be compensated for in the movie since the movie feels very disconnected at times. They dropped more important nuances and drug out shit that didnt need to be. The movie needed about 15 minutes carefully carved out to make the story flow better. The ending was also changed which I though was shit since it more or less left us with a standard ending you would expect.

Effects: Well for the most part they were fine but it had way to many god damn computer effects to cover shit up. Sometimes to the point of being way to noitceable, like later scenes on mars were just incredibly boring and drawn out computer effects shots that wasted money better spent on prosthetics in other parts. Not much to say here really since its overdone and overused.
Overall: Well, I enjoyed seeing it and had a good time but in the end, Ill watch it on HBO or something and skip buying the dvd. It was really cool to see a movie made from the comic but they messed up some of the important aspects and not to mention after seeing it I cant help but think this would have been better left to just being a comic as the real storyline and tones cant be replicated on film very well. I liked it but if I didnt see it again I wouldnt be to worried. It was worth watching on a big screen with a nice sound system one time.

It gets 6 out of 10 stars.

Trailer link http://tinyurl.com/6349q2

Fuck being politically correct. Black is black and white is white.

2009-03-05T13:17:00.007-05:00

Howdy folks. Well today I have a rant about racism and being politically correct. Because personally being PC and trying to make everyone feel all happy and squishy is a huge pile of bullshit. All it does is seperate us more and further drive the racism wedge between us and it needs to stop. I may lay into specific ethnic groups I dont know (Im making this up as I go) but Im not racist, Im just making points.

Black people, your fucking black and thats that. Same thing for white people, yellow, brown or whatever. I will not call a black person african american, that is not till they call me irish american or in the case of my best friend "irish, german, italian, canadian american". Your fucking black and Im fucking white, scratch that, were not white, black, orange, yellow or whatever were fucking human beings. The problem here is as a whole black people want equal rights and treatment, and that shouldnt be a problem since were all just people regardless of color. But, at the same time black people want to be called african americans, that is something you use to signal yourselves out and have special treatment and that makes you unequal. Its kind of like how black people call eachother nigers all day long and its a term of endearment, but if I called a black guy a niger they would try to kill me. To me there is a difference between being black and being a niger. So get over yourselves already, if you can call eachother nigers then I should be able to. Again it goes back to being truly equal and for us to be equal it all has to be ok or none of its ok. Lets not forget the fact that nationality does not denote race. Because if your african that doesnt make you black, Im sorry but there are awhole lot of fucking white people and indian people in africa also. If your born in africa then your african and doesnt mean your a certain color, if your born in america then your american and doesnt mean your a certain color, germany means your german and so on. So how about we just say man or woman from now on? Your not unique, your not special, your not entitled to anything just because of your skin color. Your the same human flesh and bone as me regardless of nationality.

Speaking of special treatment, affirmative action, black college funds, black entertainment channel or whatever else you dont deserve it. Its reverse racism. If I made a white college fund I would strung up from a tall tree by dawn. Again you want special treatment and things given to you based on your skin color but at the same time are screaming you want to be equal and that my friend isnt fair or equal. And dont give me that shit about black people in the ghetto and having a hard time making it, that percentage of people is very very small in major cities. The rest of the country is full of broke ass mexicans and white people who have just as hard a time. We all deserve a chance and help if needed. A local college actually has admissions admit a minimum of so many blacks, so many women, so many asians and so on and that is fucking horse shit. Hey if a asian woman gets into college over me because she has better grades then thats fine, she won that right but, if a asian woman got in over me because she is a woman and asian then thats fucking racist. So by having laws like that in place then were just being racist to white people.

If we want a racism free society then we need to cut out the shit of fucking doing things like being politically correct because all it does it dice us up into little sections and perpetutate the racism. Im white and there is no reason at all I can do the same things, be just as smart as, talented as or as much of a horrible person as anyone else with a different skin color. Were all human fucking beings, we all have the potential to have good sides and bad sides. Maybe if we acted like people instead of a fucking labeled idea of what we are things might be better and you wouldnt have fucking words like "tollerant" and "politically correct". If I dont tolerate your ass its because either your rude, obnoxious or just a plain fucking idiot and its not because of what you look like.

So pull your fucking heads out of your ass'es and start acting like humans instead of acting white, black or whatever.

GSC grows a pair and releases the real stalker game.

2009-03-05T10:55:00.002-05:00

Well GSC did something unexpected, they released the original version of their game stalker to play for free. Now, this isnt any old free release, this is the original build of the game from 2004 as it was originally meant to be played.

See like most game companies GSC made promises on alot of features and cool stuff but when it got down to the wire instead of just extending the development of the game they axed out alot and gave us all a inferior game missing things they said would be in it. Atleast though they righted that wrong somewhat because they released the build of the game before they cut out alot of things.

They offer no support or patching on this game though so expect a bug fest. Personally I wouldnt be surprised if someone stepped up and made home made patches for it like with Vampire Bloodlines.

Here is the ftp link GSC gave http://files.gsc-game.com:3128/oldbuild/

Shin Megami Tensei Online Imagine Free MMORPG is out.

2009-02-28T14:09:00.005-05:00

Well its official the online rpg based on the Shin Megami universe is out of beta and ready for the big time and best of all? Its fucking free!

This is based off the long running Shin Megami Tensei type of games (think of it as like final fantasy where each game doesnt mean anything to the others but still keeps the final fantasy name and basic theme). More or less it always deals with apocalypse of some sort and alot of twisted shit. Its where the lovely Nocturne, Digital Devil Saga and Persona games came from among others.

Ill be joining the ranks shortly as Im downloading the client now, I avoided the beta since I knew it would be free and I did want to try it. This is a Japaneese game so dont expect everything to be like what your used to. the SMT games always have a slightly perverted characters, unique visuals and a darker story. Oh and expect alot of demons to be involved to.

Everything you need to create a account and download the client is here http://megaten.aeriagames.com/

Just dont be expecting World of Warcraft folks, this is a 100% free game so they dont have a huge budget to work with.

My 2 cents review: Friday the 13th (2009)

2009-02-20T13:30:00.005-05:00

As per the usual standard I dont reveal spoilers in my reviews.

Howdy folks. Well today we take a peak and at the reboot for Friday the 13th, this is a remake of the original and not a new number in the series. It is directed by Marcus Nispel and up till now had only really dont the texas chainsaw remake, pathfinder and some music videos so were not off to a great start already since TCM remake sucked a dead mules rancid cock and pathfinder was barely watchable. Lets not forget Michael bay produced this film as well as TCM remake and is one of the most boring and thoughtless directors in our day and age.

Direction: Well, it was just plain awfull, it really was. It carried over alot nuances from TCM remake down to the dark and quick shots where you cant really see whats going on, alot of loud noises to shock scare people, alot of shots like through dirty glass or a screen door, redneck dirty people with no real emotions and act like they are braindead and non exciting action sequences. It was just piss poor hack directing all around from start to finish. There werent any interesting camera shots or angles, all the action was done in the quick cut format where you see whats going on but it goes by so fast you cant really tell whats going on. Like friday the 13th part 2 where bag head jason is using the pick to break into his shacks door to catch the woman, that was actually nerve wracking because they didnt hide anything and you could see he was going nuts trying to get in at her and that scene took its time. From a visual standpoint it just looked like dozens of other newer styled horror movies and had nothing that made it unique or different or kept it from being kind of boring to watch. The only saving grace it had was that it was new to me so it atleast held my interest because I hadnt seen it before.

Acting: Well this is a 2009 teen slasher flick so obviously any hopes of decent acting are right out the window. The acting was your usual pitiful stuff since the entire cast was probablly hired based purely on how they looked vs if they could act. Even jason didnt have a personality or anything, he barely had enough screen time as it is let alone the fact when you did see him he was either just standing still or killing someone, didnt get to see him walking or anything much that might have been a chance to show he is a person through body movement vs just being a walking still life painting.

Storyline: Well again its paper thin. It plays off the originals story pretty much verbatium except the events of the original were in slightly different order. Its kind of like part 1 and 2 in the same movie, which was a shame considering what little time they had for one movie they had to really rush the actual story part so they could jump into the actual movie. All in all the actual story element lasted about 15 minutes, the rest was kids getting killed.

Effects: Well the effects were ok and the CG stuff was kept to a minimum far as I could tell but all the important shots looked pretty fake, only ones they didnt use CG for obviously were the ones hidden by shadow. And Im sorry but the sleeping bag part was stupid and should have been cut. But not much to say here really since the gore was kept to a low minimum really. Only thing I really didnt like was the over usage of darkness as a effect, it didnt do what Im sure they thought it would, it obscured things vs making them look scary.

Overall: Overall its a piece of shit and annoying to point of making it not interesting, I found my mind wandering sometimes to other stuff in my real life. And the fucking kids really got on my nerves. Its one thing to have your standard character types in a slasher flick but this just overly stereotyped them all. Like the young black guy who has to make a comment to and make a racial issue out of like 3 seperate incidents pissed me off, why cant he just be a guy instead of being "the black guy". Or the idiot blonde who fucks the hunky asshole and has to dance around while she is drinking. Or the smart and attractive yet dressed down girl to be less attractive girl that will obviously live because she is smart and not a slut who ditches her asshole boyfriend for the new guy she meets thats kind of quiet with his scraggly hair and tight shirts to show his muscles. More or less if they just named it "summer camp killer" and took away the hockey mask it would have just been another teen snorefest hollywood cash in horror movie that didnt have any horror in it at all. This movie is just about as good as Friday the 13th part 9 jason takes manhattan in terms of actual horror and enjoyment.

I give it 4 out of to stars. It would have gotten 3 if I hadnt met Derek Mears at a convention and been impressed with how nice and excited he was at being in this movie (he played jason).

Here is the trailer.
http://tinyurl.com/amwcua

Street Fighter 4 Collectors Edition swag review (with coin and headband)

2009-02-18T16:35:00.008-05:00

Well this isnt your standard review since their are reviews out the ass for this game so Im just basically saying "Hey here is what the collectors edition has" or "Is it worth the extra money?". I got mine at gamecrazy, I pre ordered it since it came with a bonus item and it beat out the shitty headband lamestop was offering. Oh and incase anyone doesnt know, swag stands for Shit We All Get.

Whats in the fucking box already your saying? Well potty mouth it comes with a oversized outer box for all your useless swag, the game itself with collectors edition artwork for the case, a ryu figure, a blu-ray sized case containing a animated street fighter movie on blu-ray, mini strategy guide, code for 5 extra costume downloads and sound track cd. Decent collection of items Id say. And my bonus item for pre ordering at gamecrazy (where they are crazy for games, or maybe they are crazy and sell games, or they sell crazy games) I got a extra 20th anniversary street fighter coin that comes in a nice little cardboard display panel.

I snapped some pics (click to enlarge them).

I havent watched the movie with it yet but Im sure its atleast worth watching once, the figure could have been cleaned up a little more but he does have decent detail to him, the coin is ok to display in its little fold up thing but nothing that special. Extra costumes dont mean much to me but cool if you do alot of online playing and rest is still pretty standard. Essentially its worth the extra 20 bucks if you like street fighter alot. My only real complaint is the outer boxes for these arent very sturdy and that pisses me off, I mean mine will go on display and be safe but from rough shipping or some kid working at a store who doesnt give a shit it could get mashed corners pretty easily or whole thing caved in from being smashed. But all in all its a nifty little set and worth my extra 20 bucks, but then again I am a sucker for useless gaming shit.

Allright late entry here. Through a person of a person I know I got hooked up with a free headband that lamestop was offering with their pre-purchasers so I grabbed a quick pic of it to. But like the coin above you only got this for pre-ordering. Does it suck? Yeah pretty much. Its ugly, its cheap and no one is going to run around with a fucking orange headband on with the street fighter 4 logo on their forehead.

Grindhouse fanmade trailers.

2009-02-18T01:01:00.008-05:00

Howdy folks. Well I spent the day watching Grindhouse (well actually watching each movie back to back since they got split up on dvd those fucks) and I started to look for fanmade grindhouse trailers and came up with a couple of beauts I just had to share. You can find dozens of these but I decided to post my 2 favorites to whet your appetite.

Oh and if you havent seen or dont know what grindhouse is, then I implore you to check out the trailer for the movie.
http://www.apple.com/trailers/weinstein/grindhouse/t1_large.html

And for those of you not fortunate enough to see Grindhouse in the theaters with the bonus faux movie trailers here they are. I guess over rights of the directors who did each one they didnt make it to dvd except Machete but that was done by Robert Rodriguez and is on his Planet Terror dvd. But you had 3 others shown inbetween in the theater.

Edgar Wright's "Dont!"
http://tinyurl.com/cxrck5

Rob Zombie's "Werewolf women of the SS"
http://tinyurl.com/584wft

And my personal favorite, Eli Roth's "Thanksgiving"
http://tinyurl.com/chceot

International video game commercials galore!

2009-02-12T22:35:00.000-05:00

I ran across this beaut of a site today. They have a gigantic collection of game commercials for about every system both new and old from different countries. Alot is a blast from the past, except the ones from japan that are a blast from the fucking weird (but then again Im sure they think our commercials are weird). Like the live action song and dance routine for a link to the past.

I can seem to stop watching this one.

http://gameads.gamepressure.com/

You can also download them if you find some you paticullary love.

Save 100 bucks on a new Ps3 and get a cool looking Visa card.

2009-02-12T13:50:00.000-05:00

Im not usually one to promote companies or products but this was a nice deal, especially considering the belt tightening times we are living in. Basically you get a Visa credit card thats black with a cool playstation logo on it. So you get the card, buy a ps3 system at 299 or higher from either Sony's website or a official dealer like Bestbuy and you get a 100 dollar credit on your card.

Of course if you have a bestbuy near you you can get a free reward zone card where you get gift cards when you spend X amount of dollars, so using the card to get your 100 bucks at bestbuy will also net you a 5 dollar gift card in the mail from bestbuy, every little bit counts.

http://www.sonyrewards.com/en/gateway/?offerlink=gbpsc300

Of course if you dont want to leave your nice home, http://www.sonystyle.com/ is where you can order right from sony and get free shipping on your shiny new ps3.

And despite nay sayers I still think the ps3 is a nice system (I own 27 game systems so Im not a fanboy of anything). Of course like 85% of games released (especially major titles) are cross platform and then the others are a mix of good and bad quality exclusives so it balances out. But I do like that the Ps3 is damn near silent running, has built in wired and wireless connections, built in hdmi connector, usb ports, is very durable and dependable far as operation, it has dvd upscan, its a blu ray player, has tons of video/audio features, totally free online play for all its games and alot of other little things. Plus, it has fucking Metal Gear solid 4 on it.

Now for something different........

2009-02-06T21:52:00.000-05:00

Have you ever thought to yourself "Hmmmm has anyone ever addressed the topic of 16 bit gaming man sex?" Or "Has Tim Allen ever starred in his own video game where he fights dinosaurs with tools?" perhaps thought "Hey I want to read about a kung fu fight robot vampire movie!". Well my friends you are in luck, cause I so happen to know of a site with this and much more obsure, well written and funny shit. Well all I read were the game and movie sections and most of it was pretty damn funny. Enjoy!

http://encyclopedia-obscura.com/

Beneath a Steel Sky and Lure of the Temptress free.

2009-02-06T21:46:00.000-05:00

Well good old games has released 2 classic titles for free, all you have to do is join up which costs nothing at all. Ive been a member of this site and its a really good thing for classic gamers.

What GOG does is take older games and re-engineer them to run in windows XP and vista. They are DRM free, once you get the games they are yours and run without need for a cd or anything and they are full in originally format with no added in shit, kind of like how steam works. Can download them wherever you want when you want. The site is still new but they are getting new titles all the time and its something I encourage you folks to atleast visit and if nothing else download Beneath a Steel Sky and Lure of the Temptress, both classic adventure games.

http://www.gog.com/en/frontpage/

Resident Evil Retrospective

2009-02-05T17:27:00.000-05:00

Id always fancied GameTrailers retrospectives they had done. Today they released part 1 for the resident evil series. Im part way through and its not to bad really, hopefully will get a bit more indepth in the second half.
http://www.gametrailers.com/game/10620.html

They basically dissect a entire series across all its titles and give a short break down of them and what happened while throwing in some behind the scenes information and such. Its a entertaining bit if you watch them all the way through.

Since Im on the topic here are a couple other ones they did I feel are worth watching.

Metal gear solid.
http://www.gametrailers.com/game/6748.html

Warcraft universe.
http://www.gametrailers.com/game/10434.html

My 2 cents review: Repo The Genetic Opera

2009-02-04T00:08:00.000-05:00

As always I do not put spoilers in my reviews.

I know this is a little late as technically its out on dvd now but I figured I would review it since it had a very limited theatrical release and for like 91% of us this is the first chance we will get to see it and still new to alot of folks.

Well this is the from the director Darren Bousman, formerly known for Saw 2, 3, and 4. And yes, this is a musical. Like the rocky horror picture show? Eh, sort of but no, not really. It contains some actors that had me very excited like Paul Sorvino and Bill Mosely (yeah weird to see them in the same sentence). Does the movie hold up? Is it a instant cult classic as the poster so boldly states? Lets find out shall we.

Direction: Basically, its self indulgent tripe. Im sure he thought he was creating this cinematic masterpiece with all these grand scale ideas in his head and goth kids around the country would fall at his feet. In the end it had all been done before in various formats, and done better. Atleast they spared the whole increase the film speed like 500% for no apparant reason randomly. But much like the Saw movies he directed this is pretty cut and dry directing. I mean its not truly horrible but its pretty much like a commercial from 10 years ago where you point camera at actors, yell action and then yell cut with some basic angles and movements.

Acting: Well it gets difficult here since a large part of acting is the persons voice. The emotion or lack of it expresses, and is the real sign of how much someone gets into their part. But being a musical everyone fucking sang all the fucking time, badly I might add. Mr Sorvino was the only person with any talent but it lacked here since you could tell he wasnt really into his part. Hell alot of them I couldnt tell if they were really singing or just lip syncing. Except Bill Mosely, god damn you can tell its him because you cant disguise his voice and he cant sing. Everyone else just sounded like some generic no name teenage wannabe singer. And they sang every-fucking-thing it was difficult to hear people singing back and fourth dialouge and trying to have a conversation singing. "Hello daughter", "Hi dad", "how are you?", "I am fine", "thats good" you know thats fucking annoying to hear people sing that. And the real problem is they only had like 2 ways of singing in this movie like they only had 2 different tempos to sing with 2 rythms and 2 tones so everyother song sounded exactly like the one before last. And 50% of the dialouge was totally useless and put in just to sing, Im serious you could cut out a huge part of the dialouge and it wouldnt have affected the story at all.

Storyline: The basic core idea of the story was actually pretty cool and I was excited. It sounded really interesting to me but the reality is, thats how the story was best at, condensed down to maybe a 5 sentence paragraph. I still think its a good idea, its just a shame it got pissed away in this movie. It sounded kind of like a movie flashback from the 1980's really. But how it plays out is just eyerolling, its one of those movies where every 10 minutes you find out what you knew before wasnt the whole story and at the end you hear it all but oh wait someone else knows the real truth till you just want to barf.

Effects: Well the set pieces were a teenage goth, angst ridden, kids wet dream with all the black makeup, some steampunk shit thrown in, alot of leather and flowing dresses and other sterile cliche shit. It was so overtop it was boring, there was not one thing in the movie I actually though looked cool instead of them "trying to make it look cool". Digital effects werent to bad for like showing the outside and the city from above and it had some prosthetic effects which are always welcome to me. But all in all it was so visually stylized that it was not very interesting visually and looked like a fucking hot topic store exploded.

Overall: Well, overall its maybe worth a rental at best when your bored. The constant poorly done signing pisses me off, the fact that you could remove half of the movies script and it wouldnt change anything pisses me off, and the fact half of the characters could be taken out and not make a difference pisses me off to. I mean really, honestly you could have ditched 10 characters with spoken parts and it wouldnt have changed shit. Yeah I dont like paris hilton (mainly because she is famous for acting like a spoiled slut which is a sign our society sucks) but she was only given a part so they could have her name on the poster, really the character she played did absolutely nothing involving the story line at any point, she was just there. Any movie that takes me like 5 hours to finish cant be good, I would get bored and pause it and go do laundry or play a game and come back later and then pause it again.

I give it a 3 out of 10 (it deserved a 2 but atleast it wasnt another The Ring wannabe).

Quicktime trailer: http://movies.apple.com/movies/lionsgate/repo/repo-tlr1b_h.640.mov?width=640&height=360

ID sent me a quake live beta key today.

2009-02-02T15:31:00.000-05:00

Its supposed to be quake that you can play from anywhere through a browser. Ill give it a shot and see. It looks just like Quake 3 only little bit lower res graphics and plays identical to it which is a shame because I didnt care for Quake 3 at all. I was always partial to the first Unreal Tournament.

If you fancy trying to see if you can get a beta code also there is a form on their main site.
http://www.quakelive.com/

Interesting image time again.

2009-02-02T14:49:00.000-05:00

Im a bit bored so Ill just take quick way out and throw out some random images I find interesting for your enjoyment.

Not much I can say about this one.

Friend showed me and its sadly sweet. Always did like this one.

This applies to atleast 88% of world of warcraft players and 82% of forum users.

I want to know what his 1 is going up.

This one always fucking cracks me up to watch.

My 2 cents review: My bloody valentine 3D

2009-01-24T12:52:00.000-05:00

As usual, no spoilers in my reviews.

Well this movie is being shown in both normal format and 3d format so dont forget to check with your theater before heading out incase you want to see it in 3d. I think only 600 some theaters are actually showing it in 3d. I was lucky enough to have one theater near showing it in 3d. Of course it cost 13 bucks to see it in 3d though. I guess it takes a special projection equipment since during the film I noticed no cigarette burns and after the credits you got a quick green flash and it was over, none of the usual seeing and hearing the last frame of film go by so Im guessing it was a digital disc. You also get nice 3d glasses in a plastic bag that look like sunglasses kind of and not the cheap red and blue framed ones from when I was a kid that didnt do shit except make you look stupid.

Direction: Well the fella who directed this movie also did white noise 2, dracula the legacy 3, dracula 2000 and prophecy 3 (yeah great track record). This is also a remake of the wonderful 1981 movie of the same name minus the 3d. The original was a dark and mean spirited horror movie I personally loved. The direction is pretty much just very generic and sterile. I mean it was nothing special and had a bunch of gags thrown in to show off the 3d of course but they felt incredibly tacked on. But I guess you cant expect much when basically your only seeing it cause its in 3d. But it was pretty hack work. It had a couple interesting shots and scenes but nothing to noteworthy.

Acting: Well, it sucked all across the board. Tom atkins was trying so hard and was the obvious best actor in this but you could tell the director wasnt pushing him to try harder or anything, I think he was there for asthetic purposes which is a shame because I like him alot. Other than the acting was pitiful at best and the entire cast felt really weird and odd choices. Like the entire sheriff's department was run by like 20 something kids. The fucking town sheriff was some late 20's kid with the pretty face and shitty half grown in sexy kind of beard scruff and he was so hammy he couldnt even act pissed off aside from just yelling. Even kevin tighe couldnt cut it, during a emotional scene where he is supposed to be mad he looked like he was trying not to smile the whole time. It was mostly just like they said "we need alot of cool, hip, sexy teens in this movie but we cant afford WB grade ones so we need to go to the next level down".

Storyline: Not much to say here either, it was pretty much cut and dry and very very thin, but what should you expect from a movie like this. The story probablly sounded alot better on paper than it did on screen. But no real complaints since its just a hollywoodized teen slasher flick. The big twist at the end was laughable though, I already knew how it was going to end I just wasnt sure how it was going to work out.

The 3d effects: Really, if you cant see it in 3d, there isnt much point. They spent so much focus on 3d that they forgot the rest of the movie. But the 3d itself was like looking at a collectible 3d card or a 3d book from a bookstore in that it really did look 3d but it was contained within the confines of the screen, it wasnt like shit was flying out at my face or anything. For what it was though it did look pretty cool but not for one second did the quality of the effect look real nor did it make me feel like it was shooting out at me. The miners helment was easily the neatest 3d effect. So yeah it was a neat novelty and really the only point of the movie. I did however not like during fast moving scenes everything in the background was hard to see, it was almost blurry and it takes awhile to get adjusted to the 3d effect. I found myself I had to focus on one thing at a time unlike a normal movie where I can just take everything in.

Overall: Unless your like me and support your medium by going to most horror movies or your curious about the 3d effects then you may want to pass as I imagine not watching this is 3d is pretty boring. The level of violence and gore were more than I was expecting, I guess the MPAA decided since it was kind of goofy and the whole 3d thing made it seem somehow less than what it was but it had alot of violence in it, atleast I thought so. But I do hope it does moderatly well, I think its really cool they brought back the 3d aspect to horror movies like others had tried in the past but in the same token I dont want it go overboard with it either. So here is to hoping they work on the 3d more to improve it before they start work on pirahna 3d this year.

I give it 4 out of 10 stars (Im sure it would have been 3 had I not seen it in 3d).

Quicktime trailer http://www.apple.com/trailers/lions_gate/mybloodyvalentine3d/

Sweet home, the original horror survival game on the nes.

2009-01-14T22:34:00.001-05:00

After getting a mocha at starbucks inside barnes and noble while waiting for my movie to start this week (the unborn which I also just reviewed on here) I grabbed a handfull of import gaming mags off the rack to sit and go through since I cant afford them at lik 12 bucks a pop. I came across this game in Retro Gamer. I had forgotten all about but its the original horror survival game and was on the 8bit nes (famicom technically since it was only in japan) that never got ported to the united states. Needless to say this baby had my stealing the pen from the starbucks register and writing the name on a napkin to check out later on so I wouldnt forget.

From the small time I spent just configuring my controller and getting it running it reminds me a dragon quest horror rpg with survival horror bits in it also. Hell it even has the famous door loading screen when switching areas like resident evil had. Im a bit excited about this myself. But from what I read in the like 3 page article in the magazine NES fans, especially NES fans who like resident evil and horror in general shouldnt miss this.

At any rate I found a ROM for it and a nes emulator that runs it just fine and even has a nice setup for my cheapo logitech controller for the pc I never used. The ROM is also in english allowing you to read it in all its glory. So I am now ready to fire this baby up (I need a break from left 4 dead anyway) tongiht and give it a try. Below youll find linkage to play it for yourself. And for the horror fans the site I provided for ROM also has the ROM's for halloween and texas chainsaw on the atari 2600 should you want to sample the horror awfullness in full. And yes that emulator works like a charm in windows xp, Im playing it in windows xp with sp3.

English translation Sweet Home ROM: http://www.rom-world.com/file.php?id=20619

NES emulator: http://stella.sourceforge.net/

Ad-Lib form for the fanboy.

2009-01-14T17:20:00.000-05:00

I ran across this today and laughed my ass off.

My 2 cents review: The Unborn

2009-01-14T08:53:00.000-05:00

As always I do not put spoilers in my reviews.

Well, this is a horror movie (atleast its supposed to be).

Direction: Well David Goyer is the director of this thing and once again proves he is mediocre at best. I will give him this, from a direction standpoint, this is better than what he did to Blade 3. I mean he is a good writer and such, but behind the camera and actually implimenting his ideas, he is just another wannabe hollywood director. It plays out in usual fashion with your standard lighting and camera angles you see in this type of movie. Just from a camera usage perspective, its the standard type thing as any of these movies. Lights flicker showing you a tiny image of something scary off in the corner, one second something is there and the next its not, you see a image of someone and then they are some monster with a loud noise to follow and so on. Not much worth mentioning here.

Acting: Well again, not alot to say. Its another movie of kids trying to act shocked and scared. Not once did I think anyone was actually terrified or in mortal danger or have any real emotion in this as they would scream at nothing in standard issue or they would look up at the glycerin tears rolled down their cheeks. Even my all time favorite actor Gary Oldman couldnt penetrate the screen here. Honestly his talent was wasted on this picture. He wasnt pushed to anything other than that of a normal guy who had to yell a little bit at the end. Another actor I like alot James Remar was wasted on this, he had maybe like 5 minutes of screen time and thats it. Everyone was basically just people chosen for their bodies instead of their acting chops, you could tell they had no love for this movie and it was just a paycheck. And for the life of me I will never understand why Carla Gugino was in this, a corpse could have played her part since she literally did nothing in it. I like Carla (and she is a knockout to) and all but they could have saved the money they spent on her and used that money for a better writer.

Storyline: It started off not to bad but it quickly went to hell and became a rip off of other horror movies. Like they had a eye theme from well, the eye. They had some sound effects a couple visual effects from the grudge, you had a obvious theme of the exorcist and so on. It really was a jumbled mess. And it was all so fucking sterile and cliche. Hot young girl and her hot young boyfriend live perfectly happy young hot couple lives with nothing to do but fuck and go to school for like 3 minutes and of course hot young girl has to have cliche loud mouthed black girl best friend. Then suddenly out of nowhere creepy things happen to hot young girl, boyfriend and friend are skeptical at first but soon exposed to it also and then it all culminates at the end with standard "shock/twist" ending that ends up being boring and stupid. I have litterally seen this movie done dozens of times before just with different titles.

Overall: Well......overall its a stinking, hollywood, cash in, boring, cliche so called horror movie obviously aimed and marketed at teenagers with its cast of beautiful cliche kids who cant act and its obvious use of ipods and macbooks. This is nothing more than something made to make a quick buck by kids who have nothing better to do and think this is what a horror movie should be and to dumb to care about things like plot, story and character development. The only redeeming factor was looking at the actress playing the main character, she was borderline a little skinny for me but she had this classic beauty in her face and with her long dark hair she reminded me of like a young Jennifer Connely.

I give it a 3 out of 10.

Quicktime trailer: http://www.apple.com/trailers/universal/theunborn/

How I would make Mysterio a villain in the Spiderman 4 movie.

2009-01-14T08:28:00.000-05:00

Well Spiderman 4 is starting to get some buzz going with the recent reports of Sam coming back and talking villains. This would be a good chance to tone it back a tad and have 2 minor role villains because 3 proved that to many villains just turns the movie into a mindless and stupid special effect jammed shit sandwhich festival, which basically means michael bay should be directing it. Sometimes less is more. Then they could either have another minor villain also or take their time in setting up a major villain for the next movie.

Picture the movie opening up and spiderman is swinging around and he spies a bank robbery and outcomes the door Shocker, they fight a little and Shocker promptly electrocutes him and Spiderman bursts into flames and falls out. Then you hear someone yelling "Cut! Cut damnit!" and Sam Raimi comes running onto the set and the camera swings around to find its a movie set and there is another actor sitting in a chair with his mask off eating a donut or something and Sam is yelling for the special effects guy Quentin Beck and is chewing him out because his Spiderman rig caught on fire and cost alot of money to make. Then maybe the camera pulls back and you see the real Spiderman hanging upside down on a ledge across the street watching a movie being made about him and he swings off. Now since Quentin Beck is Mysterio that was a special effects guy before his life of crime that would be a cool way to introduce him.

Electronic Gaming Monthly (EGM) gone, dead, goodbye, canceled, etc.

2009-01-10T19:21:00.001-05:00

Well its about fucking time I say. 1up network was bought by UGO and EGM being part of the 1up network, UGO has pulled the plug on the long time running gaming magazine.

EGM has been around since 1989 and was one of the original gaming magazines I grew up with as a kid and loved to read. I will still have fond memories of those days and this magazine.

But, as with almost every single magazine in the gaming arena they turned into whores. Peddling their paper paged asses to anyone who would advertise with them. Sucking the ink printed cocks of anyone who had money for them and just straight out would do anything to not offend major game developers.

I dont know how many reviews I read over the past say 3 or 4 years from this magazine where a highly advertised game from a big name company like EA for instance would get a 2 page review with barely anything negative said about it, no matter if the game was good or not. If something negative was touched on it would be a very vauge 2 sentence long mention of the bad portion of the game then it would go right back into full blown ass kissing. Like for instance they might review a really high profile title and would say "well we didnt really like the way the cars handled but it might be we didnt get to test them out enough, and this is a beta build of the game, and they have lots of time to fix this but its really such a minor thing no one would notice it really because its not a big deal" then right back into fluff filler comments like "well I played this series since I was a young kid and really loved and the series has come along way since then blah blah blah blah" and then dive right back into just finding anything posisitve to say like "well I loved how the manhole covers had the actual city name on them it kicked ass!". Any large title would atleast get a decent score from them no matter how bad it was. Unless......

......you were a small time company who made a shitty game, well then your gonna get it. Only the little no name companies would get ripped to shreds for making a shitty title. They saved up all the nasty comments and jokes from the big name people that pay for advertising for the little guys who didnt offer them any money. Or you were a title that was just openly ripped on by anyone, then your fair game to because they would jump on the bandwagon.

Or articles were done to death, I cant tell you how many damn times I would read the same articles rehashed like how to get into the game business or some such shit.

And EGM editors and writers were assholes. Here I will give you a example from the newest issue to come out. This guy wrote a honest letter to them discussing a topic from a previous issue and did it in a well thought out manner, didnt use bad language, wasnt rude, spelled well and just all around good letter that made a point. And this is the response these assholes gave him.

Yeah thats the whole, entire response they gave to someone who writes a decent letter. The only thing worse than the people who replied to folks letters is that seanbuttbaby or whatever his pseudo name was. He would sport some retro tshirt, studded belt and have a orange mohawk like he was saying "see how fucking rocking cool I am? See how retro and new age I am by dressing like this? Im so well, cool. Arent I? Course I am, Im not some douche who lost his own identity by trying to be what hip kids would think is sweet". And all he would do as his entire schtik is make stupid rude comments about stuff and reference things from olden days. It was like a geeky, dumbed down version of peter from family guy only with a pathetic attempt at sarcastic humor. Im sorry but the angry video game nerd has you beat hands down. Fucking guy looks like a walking billboard for hot topic stores. And he would do shit like "hey I got a list of shitty games to make fun of. First up is barbie super t shirt maker on the gameboy!" any moron could make fun of that you fucking idiot. But it wasnt even bad at being what it was, which wasnt really a game to begin with.

Any way, EGM went tits up and Im happy we lost another money/soul sucking stinkhole waste of a sold out magazine that just kissed ass all the time and made mediocre games seems so cool to idiot kids who dont know any better. Maybe this trend keeps up and we might end up with a game industry thats honest and creates better quality games instead of worry about turning 1 game into a triology or how awesome they can make the graphics in a game.

See this?

That my friends is a prime example of a fine gaming magazine. They told it how it was, they were sincere about gaming, didnt sell their asses out and what happened? After a year we got this final issue due to lack of advertising since if they didnt like a game they told you about it and told you why. Not many devs liked the truth being told about their games so they didnt advertise. They may have closed but atleast it was for the right reasons, and that was having integrity and being straight forward when it comes to reviews.

Oh how I do hate gamestop. Let me count the ways

2009-01-06T16:19:00.001-05:00

After a recent trip into Lamestop I finally threw in the towel with them, Ive had enough and they wont get anymore of my money.

Well it seems strange that the worlds (supposedly according to them) largest game merchant would do more to try and get on the good sides of gamers instead of treating them blatantly like morons and walking wallets with eyes.

Over the years most retail stores have gotten worse and worse when it comes to customer service and would prefer basically if we walked in, gave them money and left without uttering a single word to the staff. Practices have gotten worse, policies stricter and stricter and overall attitude by employees (with the exception of your occasional asskiss manager) have gone down the proverbial toilet at the expense of the consumers. But lamestop has officially hit bottom with me.

#1- Every single fucking time I get just one foot in the door I am greeted by some kid who obviously doesnt give a shit and gives me the same phrase "hey bring any trades in for us today?". Now if my hands are empty does it look like I have a fucking trade in? What happened to just a simple hello? And if I had trade in for them then I would make it a fucking point to tell them I do. Because I dont think Im going to bring in a handfull of games and somehow forget I want to trade them in.

#2- I bought a used game from them yesterday (which I returned today) because I was stupid enough not to look at it or ask questions first which is my own fault. So I get it home and open it up to find the disc scuffed up, there is no manual and the god damn yellow used price tags are underneath the fucking case cover meaning they are on the actual artwork itself and impossible to remove without tearing it and to top it off, its dusty inside the case because no one even bothered to blow the crap out from where some guy who had it in a garage for 6 months traded it in dirty. Im sorry Im not paying for that shit which leads me to point 3.........

#3- Out of desperation for wanting to play this game and not wanting to wait for a ebay shipper I paid 5 dollars less than it is new at other game retailers like bestbuy (one near me was out at the time, I called first). So here I paid 5 bucks less for a game in shitty condition sold by some kid who was annoyed by having to deal with a customer and not one of his game buddies than I would have for it in brand new condition.

#4- They rip folks off on trade ins. In the store they offered this guy 12 bucks trade in on a fairly recent game. Out of curiosity I browse the shelf in search of this game and behold I find it priced at 49.99 (dont forget tax). 12 bucks and they have the balls to sell it for little over 4 times as much? I could have gotten it brand spanking new for a little more. If your going to only give a little then sell it just a little more. They would make the same profit in sheer volume of sales as they do selling a smaller number of games used for way to much plus people wouldnt feel jaded about it. Cheaper prices means more customers willing to pay less and you turn product around faster instead of sitting on that copy of nocturne for ps2 priced at 74.99 for 2 years.

#5- I bought a game from there awhile ago and this isnt a big deal but it does annoy me alot. I got the last one in the store. I bought a brand new game mind you here. And the annoying kid proceeds to get the disc out of a drawer, puts it in the dinged up box off the shelf thats been handled and dropped 500 times by snot infested children with like 3 stickers on it, slaps a clear sticker to "seal it like new" across the side and sells it to me for full price. Now to me what I got was not a new game but they still charged me new price for it.

#6- Dont let your customer test your products. A fellow I knew at lamestop awhile ago told me they dont test crap. Its get traded in and they slap a sticker on it and put it on the shelf. Meaning if you buy a game that doesnt work you have to drive back and waste time to hope they have another one. I dont know if thats 100% correct but why would he lie to me?

#7- The employees are a bunch of kids who think they are hot shit for working at a lamestop and either try to impress you with stupid stuff or act like you are beneath them to converse with beyond finger pointing and grunting. This kid actually put his shoulder back, grinned and was telling me he got a free downloadable copy of banjo and kazooie from the N64 for his wii because he personally know the nintendo rep and has the inside score with nintendo themselves, oh bullshit. Or I hear them talk to adults like they are fucking morons. People trying to buy something for their kid and they get stupid so called "facts" and "inside info" is a bunch of fucking horseshit. Or I heard a woman wanting to buy a ps3 for her son and the guy in their tried to get her to buy a xbox 360 and guess what, she left confused, ticked off with no purchase in her hand. Listen lamestop, you hire kids, you dont give them any hours at all, you make them adhere to alot of bullshit rules, you dont pay them shit and they dont do shit so its no wonder they are treating customers like shit. Sadly many adults dont know any better than to go in these places since for them its the only stop since in my town within a 3 miles radius we have a lamestop in the mall, one across the street from the mall, a funcoland (owned by lamestop) in a shopping center behind that, and another one about a mile away. Thats 4 fucking lamestops with just a few miles of eachother, we have fewer starbucks around here than lamestops. For fucks sake I can stand in one spot and see 3 seperate stores without the use of vision enchancing devices.

#8- It also ticks me off I cant buy anything or get out of the store without hearing how I should pre-purchase this and or that like 3 times each visit. If I want it, Ill fucking get it. And another thing about pre purchases, I picked up a demo for a game that was sitting on the counter and annoying employee kid snatched it out of my mitts and told me "oh only people who pre-purchase the game get to have these". Now his belittling of me when I didnt even open my mouth to ask if I could have it ticked me off but I got even more so when I thought "why the fuck would I want a demo for a game I going to pre-purchase?". Really, if I want a game bad enough that I will give them money to guarntee a copy of the game on its release which guarntees I will buy it from them why would I want a demo of the game? To make me want it even more? So I could play it before I could play it? Give the fucking demos to people who arent playing the game, dont make it some stupid gimmick to get people to buy that product. Thats like being in the grocery and a lady has a tray of cheese slices to sample and go to get one and she stops you and says "These are great samples, but you need to actually go and buy a whole package of this cheese to take home before Ill let you try it out". It makes no god damn sense. And my final though about pre-purchases. I pre-purchased fallout 3 there to get the collectors edition. Now I am tied up at work and not sure if I can make it in that night to get it, so I call just to make sure they got it in that day and simply say "Well I may not be able to pick it up today but Ill be in the morning and grab it" and snot nosed, annoying lamestop employee kid says "Well Ill try and hold onto it for you". Wait, he would "try"? I gave them 40 fucking dollars 3 months in advance to make sure I got one, they fucking better have it for me. Thats the one point of pre-purchasing, hell they even say it guarntees you a copy of a game, not that it guarntees you a copy of the game within the first 90 seconds of them getting it in and then all bets are off. Now if its been a week and Im not in there then yeah I can see it but not one day and atleast act like your not the president of the world and your doing me some great and huge favor by keeping it one more day you insolent shits.

#9- The employee's, aside from braindead, full of themselves kids who dont know shit are all biased against certain things. I had a guy ask me about pre-ordering street fighter 4 for the 360 and I said Id rather have the ps3. So he continues to "educate me" me on how the 360 is faster and that ps3 is ok for slow games for like old people but I would want the 360 since its faster. I asked him faster how and he just said "its faster, trust me dude". Fucking moron.

My 2 cents review: The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

2008-12-31T21:30:00.000-05:00

As always I do NOT provide spoilers in my reviews.

Well I will start by saying even though this isnt typically my kind of movie I thought Benjamin Button (Ill refer to as BB from here on out) was the best movie Id seen this year.

Direction: Well I know this wouldnt be bad since David Fincher (Fight club, Se7en, Panic room, The game, Zodiac) is the director and he is one of my top 5 personal favorite directors and has yet to make a bad movie as far as Im concerned. But his sense of style fit this movie perfectly and honestly it couldnt have been directed by anyone better. His use of colors, shadows, angles and camera movements were just about perfect. There isnt much to say expect that the direction was great.

Acting: Well I never was much for Brad Pitt but I will say the older he gets the better he gets and isnt prancing around with the look of "hey Im brad pitt and your watching me in a movie" on his face constantly. This was his best part I would dare say. His voice over narration during the whole movie was really well done and I couldnt help but hang onto his every word. Far as the character himself I think he was perfect for it. I wasnt watching it thinking of brad pitt, I was thinking of benjamin instead, he really was the part. Granted alot of times his expressions werent really a big range but it was his voice mostly and how he portrayed the part that made it good. Cate was also very good, I was constantly torn between loving her and hating her and if you have a emotional attachment to a character good or bad then that actor has done a good job. Everyone else in it was fantastic to, there was a wide range of parts and they were all done very well and I loved the different characters, even captain mike earned a special spot before it was over.

Storyline: This was based off a short story by F Scott Fitzgerald. Now I hadnt read the original story but I intend to now. The entire movie is obviously fiction but there wasnt a moment in the movie that I doubted it or thought "oh bullshit that wouldnt happen" because the way it all played it seemed quite believable. I will warn you though, I cried like 3 times atleast in this movie (yeah Im a big ole pussy). Its a emotional movie that is constantly flowing like waves in the, ocean one second your up and the next your down in a ongoing pattern.

Overall: I obviously loved the movie. I will say if you go see it try and go see it in a theater that has good quality audio in it since the sound effects and so on are a big part of the movie and a character all its own. Its also long so be ready for that, it comes in around 3 hours. This is definitely worth a trip to threater though and money well spent in mind. I give it a 9 out 10.

Quicktime Trailers: http://www.apple.com/trailers/paramount/thecuriouscaseofbenjaminbutton/

My thoughts: Video games and fanboys.

2008-12-26T23:29:00.001-05:00

Since I am new on this blog I will say before you read this I have been playing games for over 30 years. I still have every system I ever got and my games and I have forgotten more about games than most will ever know about them and I am not a fanboy of any company.

This image should get you into my mental state right now on this topic.

Well folks this has been something thats been brewing for quite some time now in me, festering if you will. If I wrote a master thesis on video games it would be titled "Fanboys arent real gamers". I say that because you arent. Your morons, your just mindless zealots, your jumping on the bandwagon, you have no idea what being a gamer is, your a fanboy just so you can argue on the internet from the safety of your homes because your cowards in real life and this is your way of feeling your telling someone off and get to have a smug sense of self satisfaction with no recourse. And well, its cheaper than therapy.

Xbox 360, ps3, wii, pc or a fucking vectrex, it doesnt matter what system you own because none of them are any better than another system. It doesnt matter who manufacturer's the box you put your games into. When you play say call of duty 4, your not playing the fucking 360 or the pc, your playing call of duty 4. The games are what make systems good, not the other way around. If that were the case then the god damn 8bit nes or the genesis would still be on the market because they had more great titles than the xbox, xbox 360, wii and ps3 put together.

The only thing that matters wheter nintendo, neo geo, microsoft or sony made the console you own is the games you put inside them to play. The game developers are what you should be fanboys of, not the consoles. The game developers are the ones who make good games and bad games. Im sorry but if you spend 100 bucks on a hand held or 5 large on a high end pc it doesnt matter how little it cost or how much it cost or even who made it, all that matters is if it has good games on it. Most expensive or cheapest console in the world is just a paperweight without good games on it to play. If you all fucking idiot diehard halo fans would pull your heads out of your asses you would see the game is made by bungie, not by microsoft, bungie. It doesnt make your 360 the best console on earth or justify you just blindly spouting "360 rockRs!!!! ps3 /epic failz! L0LZ!!!". Because #1 you cant spell worth a shit and you should go back to kindergarden and start over because the only thing thats has failed is you at learning the english language and #2 it makes absolutely no sense at all, you wanna argue? Fine, but atleast put some thought into it and come up with substantial arguments instead of just using the age old "well....because I said so thats why!".

Being a fanboy of systems today is stupid anyway. 85% (Im just making a broad swept guess) of games are made on multiple systems, its not like the old days where each system basically had its own library of exclusive titles. Now all the big games call of duty world at war, bioshock, grand theft auto 4, final fantasy 13, fallout 3, dead space, left 4 dead, guitar hero, rock band 2 and so on were put out on multiple systems and every year the exclusive list gets smaller and smaller because why would a game company make a game for just one system when they can make it and release it on alot of systems and make more money? I mean really what were the 3 big one's exlusive games? 360 had fable 2, gears of war 2. Ps3 had little big planet, resistance 2, and metal gear solid 4. And the Wii well, it had a shitload of exlusive titles that all pretty much sucked unless you were like 4 years old or a adult who was stupid enough to buy into the wii hype and think the wii was going to get them in shape somehow or that paying 250 bucks for a console to bowl in your home is worth it.

And fanboys you guys need to stop flip flopping so damn much on what you think. If your gonna say something stupid with no merit then thats fine but atleast stick to your guns. For instance, I cant tell you how many times over the years I saw 360 fanboys on forums (I mean litterally hundreds) all saying ps3 sucked and final fantasy 13 was going to be this piece of shit game, and the game was going open up a wormhole and suck all the souls of ps3 owners into hell for eternity because they were sinners for liking final fantasy games and all I saw was a ton of bullshit bitching and complaining based on nothing because the game wasnt even out (a rant for another day). BUT! As soon as squareenix makes a public statement that final fantasy 13 would be on both the 360 and ps3 they went apeshit and were saying how great it was going to be, they couldnt wait to play the game, that the good lord came down from heaven and showed his preference in consoles war by making final fantasy 13 on the 360 and that final fantasy 13 is the greatest rpg ever (again its not even out yet) and I saw alot of this "yeah in your face ps3 owners you guys suck we got your game nyah nyah!". Or when hideo kojima announced that metal gear teaser as being a new metal gear game for the iphone, people literally before would say "this is gonna be awesome I cant wait for this whatever it is" then kojima makes the announcement and those same people in the same thread would say "This is bullshit, that games gonna suck anyway". So make up your fucking minds on what you think about something and stick to it.

Me? When someone asks me what do I play, I tell them I play games. Because thats what I do, I play games just like everyone else. I dont play ps3, I dont play 360 and I dont play super nintendo, I play games. And if you want to consider yourself a gamer then get your head of your fucking asshole and stop being so blinded by advertising and what is cool to like on the internet at the time and just play games.

So in closing, dont be a fucking mindless drone idiot, if you like a game then like it for the game and not what its being played on.

Interesting image time.

2008-12-26T22:54:00.000-05:00

Well today is interesting image day. Meaning some weird shit I found cruising the net. Warning Im in a graphic kinda mood, but here this first one is dedicated to the children!

5 free world of warcraft 10 day trial demo giveaways

2008-12-25T11:38:00.000-05:00

I had forgotten I have 5 free 10 day trials for world of warcraft to give out. Every subscriber to the game has 5 they can give out to friends so they can play to and well mine are just sitting there doing me no good at all. So if you would like a free trial of WOW just send a email to gargus@gmail.com and include the email address you want Blizzard to send the invite to and your good to go.

I only need a email address since I send them from within my WOW account. They do it that way to keep people from just signing up for free accounts and all the gold farmers logging in and spamming the chat channels before they get banned for doing it and just creating a new account and doing it again.

Its not much but its christmas and with people on break and extra long weekends this will occupy you from those annoying relatives visiting or something to do to unwind after they leave.

Official WOW site incase you dont know what it is, but hell with over 11million subscribers it cant all be bad. And now is a good time to try it since the feast of winter veil is going on you can get into even at level 1. Its a holiday season festival with pets, gifts from great winter father and quests you can only do during the holidays before they are gone till next year.

Take2 gives Big daddy from bioshock a little sister figure for company

2008-12-23T21:54:00.000-05:00

So take2 has put out official little sister figures and being the game swag sucker I am I plopped down 10 bucks for one and its a nice little figure. The game itself may have been mediocre and overly hyped and rated but the figures are cool.

I got her today and snapped a couple pics. One I took with the big daddy figure from the collectors edition I got back when bioshock first came out. Just click the pics for full size.

http://take2store.stores.yahoo.net/lisifi.html